Maurice who?

You know what they say: if you're bored on a slow day, there's nothing to do but go out and MAKE some news.

Mark Twain: "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt."

We know so little about this topic. Why haven't they built a Museum of Masturbation yet?

How wonderful to learn that Rob Kardashian roots for the same baseball team as I do.

I don't really care about Lindsay Lohan, but I too remember saying "He's the President of the United States!" in an indignant tone circa 2011, back when our current President was accusing our sitting President of being a crypto-Kenyan fabulist.

Ick. I was stuck in the airport or five hours last Saturday, and ESPN was marathoning reruns of the last few tournaments…

Next, they'll be interrogating that Shakespeare guy responsible for "Julius Caesar." I hear he's a pretty tough customer.

When you live to be almost 120 years old, you've been a senior citizen for half of your life.

The old young BLACK guy

Seriously?!

The old YOUNG guy

Iz satire, Dik.

I am so glad that the vast majority of American Jews saw through that "Isn't it great Trump has a Jewish son-in-law?!" bullshit immediately.

Someone pointed out to me yesterday that they really don't. There is no legal way anyone can prevent the President from using social media save his own sense of propriety.

I don't know how serious this comment was, but I really did have a dream about the President not too long ago.

Hey AVC—couldn't you just do a daily "THIS JUST IN: Trump Still Terrible" check-in, and we can fill out the details below? It's no longer exactly breaking news every time our President does something ignorant and/or repugnant—just the baseline nowadays.

As long as it doesn't imply causation.

You wish.

I don't own Clue, but I've seen the movie.