King Kong…Lives? Wow, you know a franchise film is bad when you were completely unaware of its existence, despite being pretty familiar with the series. I might be able to top it though.

GALLANT DEAD. GOOFUS PROCLAIMS SELF DICTATOR-FOR-LIFE.

*Kragen yells at him, then lets him off the hook because "he's a good cop who made a dumb mistake" for the 500th time.*

Well, they're immortal vampires, so a tiny little bit of anachronism is okay, I guess.

Unless they're made by people who really know what they're doing, movies and TV tend to conflate the entire period of American history between 1920 and 1955 into a nebulous old-timey era when men wore hats and women wore glamorous gowns and everybodytalkedasquicklyandcolorfullyaspossible, see?

Molina is that rare bird: a British actor who has regularly been cast as every nationality BUT British over the years.

She wasn't even that old—51 when the show began, 57 at the end of the run.

I'm not in the US right now, and everything is on SNL's official YouTube channel. (And Americans don't even get access to most of what's on there.)

You won't believe what that wacky Bob Crane has gotten up to!

What about MST3K? I know how some feel about the final three seasons, but I actually never saw a single Comedy Central episode broadcast on TV. It was during those last three Sci-Fi Channel years that I discovered and fell in love with the show, and those are the episodes I look back on with the most nostalgia. …

"Why are you commenting down there?"

I thought Ed Harris screams "stand down" at David Morse. Apparently that's a different exchange later in the movie.

The trick to creating your own Oscar Wilde-ism to come up with an aphorism that is symmetrical in its construction while also being inherently paradoxical. Like so:

Which is an odd thing for his character to say, since by and large the UK didn't have proms either when John Mason was a lad or in 1996 when the movie was made. (They've since started to come into fashion over there.) It's such an America-centric line, but here the cinema's most famous Scotsman is saying it.

And that's when Sean Connery's character finally begins to respect him.

Then there are the French, who understand comedy but don't really know what to do with it.

How hard can you be working if you're commenting here?

No women? Great! Now I can stop sucking in my gut!

I doubt this will burst your bubble, but I need to say it anyway: NO ONE IS "SHUTTING YOU DOWN." Not unless you feel that ridicule is the same as censorship. If this really was some sort of insidious conspiracy—and it would have to be the biggest conspiracy in the history of the world—there would be more of a…

It's times like this I really wish this board allowed .gifs: