They would selectively filter out every part of the story that didn’t confirm their biases and find a talking point buried within it.

I was watching someone play around in a few... outposts? Strongholds? Fortresses? Whatever they’re called in the game. And he was just having a blast both working out strategies for the booby-trapped combat and the “Gotcha!” moments, starting to form ideas for how he’d bait people into walking right into clever traps.…

Maybe I’ve just read The Onion too much, but I was honestly hoping that this article would just be a headline and a header image.

Any story that involves Trump letting people say two words without being interrupted is an obvious lie.

That was supposed to say “histrionic interview.” I’m sure the editor will get to it.

Gretchen, stop trying to make slideshows happen! They’re never going to happen!

But if you’re partying with a rubber maid, you don’t really need protection, do you?

So named because if you were swinging, it was important to put a tupper on your pupper.

Oh, yeah, he’s being charged with crimes, just like Jesus, who famously stood for... you know, forget that part. But the crimes thing. He’s just like Jesus.

And we can all be sure that one movement leads to another.

And if we don’t get a perp walk, they’ll spin a conspiracy theory because don’t you think it’s suspicious that we never actually saw them arresting Trump?

Well, hair of the dog does help the day after you’ve had too much wine.

$30 million? If it’s worth it for them to spend money shipping them to a landfill, they’re worth less than zero.

Oh, cool. Bobby Kotick has an opinion on something I guess I should liFAAAAAAAAAART

“Will” and “should” are very different animals. I stand by that it should.

Why should anyone be frightened by a hat?

“We’re not gonna fix it” is a quote that should become an albatross around the entire party’s neck.

“I’m sorry, your name is... Y?”

*faaaaaaaaaaart*