“People think you’re funnier because you’re Black funnier.”

I know someone who’s found a lot of joy in solving every Wordle with a starting guess of “DICKS.” This is going to hit him hard.

It happens. I feel the same way about Elder Scrolls. I did every side quest and unlocked every location on Oblivion’s map. Then Skyrim came out, and I was like, “That sounds fun, but no thanks. I’ve had my fill for a lifetime and can keep a positive impression of this series without needing more.”

I was going to riot if PowerWash Simulator wasn’t on the list, and it was last, so I was getting close. I’ve put in like 150 hours since its release, and I’m not sure how it’s so effectively relaxing, but I can totally lose a few hours spraying virtual dirt with virtual water... and feel good about it.

And Volcano Nachos while you’re at it.

I’m really excited about moving onto FFX-2, which I just remember being enamored with from start to finish, and then Lightning Returns, which I bought for X360 but never got around to, despite hearing things that make me think I’m going to enjoy it more than most people did.

Yeah, Smash Bros is at least more accessible because of the controls. I got through all of the story mode in Ultimate by learning decent swordfighter cheese with alternate strategies for battles where it wasn’t effective. The spirits really helped give it an RPG equipment customization spin that gave you more options…

I wound up having three sex ed classes, one apiece in middle school, high school, and college. My middle school sex ed teacher mainly taught home ec and was entirely underqualified. She spread some really oldschool, shame-y, and sometimes misogynistic info/views about sex (don’t give a guy blue balls, ladies, because…

I’ve accepted that I’ll never really be into fighting games. My brother used to use me as a practice dummy in SNES Street Fighter II so he could pull off his combos at the arcade, and it was such a pathetic skill gap that I could only celebrate occasionally squeaking through a single round at a time with erratic…

My strategy with baking cheesecakes is to welcome the cracks, because then I can fill them in with chocolate or fruit or butterscotch or coffee beans or whatever.

But please, Wendy’s Twitter, snark on about how everyone else sucks.

Go back to the very beginning and include “Mr. T Ate My Balls,” you cowards!

Live a Live is a game I’ve been half-jokingly bringing up every time Square’s remade a game in recent years. It’s an amazing game, but obscure enough that it was completely irrational to hope for.

Live-a-Live is the game I brought up every time Square made a remake of anything else, knowing it would never happen. I cannot say “holy shit” enough times over this announcement.

It’s been a week of nothing but Final Fantasy XIII. I took a long detour to knock out a bunch of hunts and level up and upgrade my weapons before I could kill chapter 11 Barthandelus, who apparently casts doom on you if you’re taking too long chipping away at his health. I was kinda mad about that, but I guess it’s a…

You wouldn’t kill a policeman and then steal his helmet.

The city I grew up on had a donut shop that was featured on a Takeout top 10 for donut shops across the US a year or two ago.

Using Bricklink as a resource to make a world for Brick Link. I dig it.

And you can especially debate stupid if you’re talking to someone you’ve known for years, so they actually have a reason to listen to you. In the early days of the pandemic my roommate was starting to spout talking points one of his other friends had parroted to him after listening to too many conservative talk shows,…

There is no happy version of Henry being at Party Down, no matter how much time has passed. If very little time has passed, his renewed confidence in his acting abilities still didn’t land him anything worth quitting catering over. If significant time has passed, at best he got himself a substantial role that led to…