“Oh my god, Michael Cera and Mary Elizabeth Winstead have the same ex, and she’s awesome!”

I haven’t sat down to watch enough of TWEWY to really even get what it plays like, but my god the visual and audio style is great.

It hasn’t seemed like a very quiet summer for games from my standpoint. Ever since the new Pokemon Snap, I’ve been buckling down and gritting my teeth as I resist buying every new Switch release and re-release. Skyward Sword, Ace Attorney, Mario Golf, Legend of Mana, the NES Final Fantasy pixel remasters, and pretty…

I’ll take one of those, but can I substitute extra bacon for the sausage?

Case by case basis. I’m OK with cucumbers being cukes and mushrooms being shrooms, but I still have to think about what “za” means, and probably still would if it was listed in the pizza section at a pizzeria, accompanied by a picture of pizza.

There was an ass here. It’s gone now.

Rotten Egg/Buttered Popcorn

I’m just waiting for the SNL Taco Town skit to be replicated at an actual restaurant. Is that too much to ask?

And there’s already bacon jam. It’s a hat on a hat.

I’m somehow still not done with Stardew Valley, and yet the end is nigh. I have like 5 million more dollars to make before I can purchase the last four upgrades I need to get the game to admit I’ve done 100% of what there is to do, unless you count the two achievements left to unlock, for clearing Journey of the…

If you want another choice in the same vague genre of sleepy small town simulation, My Time At Portia is like a Harvest Moon game where you play as the tinkerer/carpenter/mechanic instead of the farmer. It’s in 3D, there are some basic combat mechanics and even a handful of boss fights, but at its heart it’s really…

I’m so glad part of my PE class in middle school involved this whole section on how to spot pseudoscientific health claims. It felt like an antiquated lesson since it felt like we were way past the age of miracle elixirs that improved the constitution and restored vigor, but good god, all the bullshit is so mainstream…

There is a bit of that in the early game, but the crafting recipes you get as you level up your skills do a lot to help you overcome the feeling that you only have enough time to plant your crops, water, sleep, and repeat. Once I started getting tools to automate my daily chores (e.g. sprinklers to do all the watering…

Somewhere around middle school, the pledge of allegiance started feeling really, really weird to me. I recited it like a parrot for years, absorbing only the parts that felt good to say. The flag of the United States of America. Yeah, sure, that sounds good. That’s where I live. Go me. Go us. Go U.S.

This is the part of the summer where the games I really want to buy start rolling out. Like many people, I had an experience with the first three Ace Attorney games 15 years ago. No matter how on-rails it was, cracking cases made me feel like a damn genius, and witness breakdowns never fail to entertain.

With a reputation that bad, they might be forced to go into politics.

I’ve missed more than one main-series game. I’ve played the original trilogy, Apollo Justice, and Investigations 1. I’ve been told by some superfan friends that it’s not going to kill me to play GAA ahead of the other ones I’ve missed, but I’m always cautious about playing a series out of release order. Should I take…

This summer is a true test of my “we’re not buying any new games. You’ve already got a billion that you own that you’re excited about” goal that I have already failed multiple times. Playing through the first 5 Ace Attorney games was such an event for me 15 years ago, and I was happy to go back through the first three…

Now here’s someone after my own heart.

I like some of BK’s offerings, and if they do another Hulk movie tie-in I will go out of my way to get the Angry Whopper way more often than I should, but in particular choosing BK’s chicken nuggets over anything is a blistering review.