What’s the alternative if none of this is real? Is it all just a 2020 vision?

I played the hell out of the third Final Fantasy Legend/SaGa as a kid, kept renting it and stuffed a note inside the rental box that said, “Please don’t erase save 3, kthx” until I finally finished, probably spent enough on rentals to own the thing. Just went through the original last year, and assuming the price is…

I bought two boxes of Kraft Mac & Cheese when I was looking for lazy meals early on during the pandemic. I’ve eaten one. The other’s there still, waiting for whenever I want it, or whenever I want to stop looking at it.

I wonder how the people who always respond, “Just follow the officer’s orders if you don’t want to get shot over a minor infraction,” are going to take this one.

Also, this has been immediately added to my wishlist. I can’t wait for its release on...

*checks Steam store page*

“woof bark bark”

Camping out in front of a doghouse, waiting to snap photos of a dog who just wants to sleep in and maybe spend the afternoon chasing his tail without having another fucking car full of obsessed photographers watching his every move.

Hard agree. It felt weird at the time, but one of my hard requirements for laptops in the past was having a dedicated number pad. They never make laptops with screens smaller than their bases, so it meant I had to get a larger, more expensive screen, but I’ll be damned if I’m typing addresses, phone numbers, and…

It’s 2020. I’m sure you needed a McFlurry as much as anyone. You’re forgiven.

Whoops, didn’t mean to imply that today’s my actual birthday, thought that’s a reasonable interpretation. My birthday was like 5 weeks ago.

As this is also my 37-year anniversary, I would like to announce that I am rolling out Spicy Implied Kappa later this month. I will be made available with a number of dipping sauces, including “Long Non Sequitur Only Tangentially Related to Article,” “Overly Intricate Setup for Bad Pun,” “Dated Reference to 90s…

Triscuits had an experimental phase a few years ago where they tried out all kinds of flavor powders, different types of grain, and for some reason made all of the limited run stuff triangles instead of swears. The absolute winner was wasabi and soy. I don’t think they actually decided to promote any of the flavors to…

... and now my brain is automatically continuing into, “I’m the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like, on my knees day and night, scoring points for the afterlife!”

I hope this surprise reappearance is a sign that they’re considering making it a permanent flavor. It’d be yet another speed bump on the way to losing weight, but I need all the simple pleasures I can get in 2020.

I usually don’t eat a whole lot of potato chips, but when I was at Winco this past weekend, I saw Lay’s Flamin’ Hot Dill Pickle chips, so now I have two full bags that I’m probably going to eat over the next...

I first played it with four people at a public board game night, and after just one game I bought it for myself. I played a couple two-player games against my then-roommate, but it felt less chaotic and exciting with fewer opponents. I think what I like most about the larger games is that I like being guaranteed that…

I’m so envious you get to play Everdell right now. I invested in all the expansions, and they arrived less than a week after my state went on lockdown, so I haven’t played a game since. I’m considering learning the single-player rules over the weekend.

I get you. I played the first Dark Souls game, died a ton, got frustrated, started learning better strategies, found ways through boss fights, conquered the game, helped other players fight bosses as a ghost my second time through and got some *very* enthusiastic appreciative messages for my help, went back through…

Board Games

Army E-sports exists, but have you watched the VOD from last week, when they tried to make a triumphant return? Thing lasted 3 hours and 90+% of chat is telling them they’re awful for trying to use Twitch to recruit impressionable teens - either directly, by finding ways to shoehorn the phrase “war crimes” into the…

My favorite spin on that was, “Thanks, Koch gaming!”