Your country is fucked.

HOLD UP.

So if Jezebel isn't the place for TMI, I don't know where is: am I the only person who thinks length is totally overrated anyway? Girth and friction in the lower part of the vaginal canal are the source of pleasure IME; getting poked in the cervix and/or ovaries is painful, and worrying it'll happen is a major turnoff.

in case anyone else in the world cares about this, kinnick kinnick makes gluten free vegan oreos.

I don't understand why y'all needed a recession to know babies aren't worth it. I'm way too selfish to share my time/money with a kid. No way.

I am shouting at my computer screen at this trailer "why are you sleeping with teenage idiots when Martin Starr is right there?!" like I've never seen a romantic comedy before or something.

"Hey, what does this coke smell like?"

"Portlandia, which might as well be Brooklyn."

Hey, how about tomorrow?

*Please be on Kindle please be on Kindle please be on...*

I can't seem to see the tweets this article seems to want to be presenting...

Because insulting someone based on the color of their skin implies that you think that yours is somehow superior. If a white person stole from you, you'd probably call them an asshole, not a cracker. It's ok to judge people based on their words or actions, because they have control over that and that shit matters.…

Please no to Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Christian.

YES!! (Their names are Dodai.)

Same goes for your username.