I swear tall skinny white dudes are so creepy

If only Andrew knew what the fuck hes talking about..

My data shows this is not how it went down and he should be cleared shortly.

This is bullshit. The player was irresponsible with his diet and lifestyle and the team couldn’t have controlled this. The player brought this on himself

I haven’t seen it and it’s funny because I always ask people to just tell me what happens but they just shrug. It must be pretty bad! !

My analysis shows it was unintentional which raises questions about why dead spin bothered posting this.

Leave it to haisley to gay it up by calling him a stud

Why can’t these women just find successful men to marry them??

This game is dice’s version of Windows Millenium. They don’t even want to admit it exists anymore!

What a stupid vehicle. Is it time for jalopnik to hire new writers?

This is awesome news!!!

It became obvious very early why they offered to pay her less... eek, that was painful to watch.

Can we implement a max limit on greg’s use of commas per blog post?

If you really want to give a chick a bouquet but are terrified you might actually get laid, here is the solution!

Haha I hope he has some lasting effects... like death due to internal bleeding. Hahaha

$400 to never get laid is a lot of money!

As part of the silent majority, I love answering "No" when people ask me if I'd dare to vote for Donald Trump. It's like a little secret I have inside with millions of other people.

Terrible game, terrible easter egg. And did you really say “game proper” instead of “the final version”? I don’t think acting trendy is going to impress anyone at this point.

This staged crap is pathetic. No one falls for this. The cop playing basketball was the worst though because the acting by the other people wasn’t even believable. It’s getting annoying.

All they need now are poor souls that still play halo.