It’s almost 2016, dude. You can stop trying so hard to be offended.

We’re the type of people that prefer a manual transmission over an automatic. Sell a hardcover.

There’s exceptions to every rule. I said I’d expect to be called an idiot, not that I would absolutely be called an idiot.

Excellent!

You’re using a phrase that means exactly the opposite of what you’re trying to say. Sure, language is fluid, but if I start using the word “up” in a manner that means down, I’d expect to be called an idiot. Don’t be that guy. Don’t be an idiot. Learn your language.

How about don’t be that guy that can’t speak English.

It’s “couldn’t care less”. If you could care less, that means you care some measurable amount.