I was too late with my submission last year, so here goes...

I’m doxxing myself because my friends all know this story. I waited until daytime to write it because it scares me so much.

I’m guessing y’all wont find this as hilarious as I still find it. Anyway, back in high school, some friends and I broke into the school late one Monday night and plastered the walls with flyers saying “It’s Happening Wednesday.” There was so much hype for Wednesday. Obviously nothing happened Wednesday. 

is it just me or does that Juliette Lewis thing feel kind of biphobic?

>white men between the ages of 51 and 65

Tom Hardy and his porn star lips sell tickets, yo.

“who was I going to report it to? Secretary Mattis? Really? All I was trying to do was just survive and not have my life ruined.”

Why do these people think they’re so interesting that they assume they can take up 20 minutes of people's lives? 

Sometimes a complete piece of shit who encourages someone else to kill themselves is just a complete piece of shit, even if they are part of a group that society likes to blame for every problem under the sun. It’s good to question stories like this and try to gain perspective, but now it sounds like you’re swinging a…

I can one up you- my dad passed away last month only days after being diagnosed with brain cancer. We had had our issues over the years but we had been talking a lot, and my husband and I dropped everything in order to be with him the last couple of weeks of his life. Last week, I received a copy of his will and he…

I could kind of believe this actually. I find Manson incredibly boring as an infamous figure/cult leader, and I think he was truly an egocentric sociopath who really wanted to be famous and was butt hurt that these big music producers weren’t blown away by his mediocre music. Ultimately, I don’t think he actually gave…

Where are people fresh out of jail going to get the money for the car, the car insurance, renew or replace expired drivers licenses? 

You obviously care or you wouldn't be here so there's that.

I know. Also, I really fucking love Nancy Pelosi, who Jon Lovett described as embodying “what would happen if a Prada bag with a gun in it came to life.”

This complaint isn’t directed specifically at Anthropologie but - WHO DO I HAVE TO BLOW TO GET A GODDAMN MAXI DRESS WITH SLEEVES?

Am I crazy for thinking Cardi comes off kinda bad when everything’s collected like this?

The beef, surely a stroganoff

Every woman’s choice is not inherently good for women. The past few days have proven that women can be willing and/or unwitting agents of misogyny to other women. Chimamanda Adichie also addressed this when she said she refused to perform pregnancy.

It will be great to see her onscreen again, I miss her and she’s been gone too long!

I’m from the American South, and I will never stop using “y’all.”

I would argue that reporting on this is a further violation of Perry, whether she was or was not a victim of Luke’s. It doesn’t feel like she had any agency in this breaking and that’s gross even if she’s a public figure I’m not particularly interested in