“The site’s mission is simply to make paid Patreon content available for free,” he told me. “We’re not out to get creators or make them lose income.”

My social media is full of people I know who are giving up booze, giving up meat, giving up sugar, giving up everything and that’s cool. If that’s what they want to do, I’m happy for them and I support them in their efforts to be healthier.

And this is the problem with, if you’ll pardon the expression, inflammatory rhetoric.

There’s a open air cafe round the corner from a tourist attraction I work at, and I always have their paella with chorizo. Because I’m a bit of a regular there, they also put on a little Catalan stew, which they don’t charge me for.

If this had been around when I was a kid, I might still be playing D&D.

Marmite is arse-scrapings from the last leper in Hell.

I took my son to see the film today. He mentioned the Porgs to his little sister (she’s seven) when he got home and she asked what they were.

My kids are very fussy eaters at home, yet when we go to restaurants, they’re always very keen to try new things. To be honest, most of the time they don’t like it and end up eating junk, but at least they try.

I always start my shows with “Welcome, ladles and jellyspoons!”

Those toys must be really dusty...

Hats off to the guy - he was pretty brave chasing a car on a bike, and he seemed to exercise a fair amount of caution doing so.

Mine’s an old one. Playing Battlefield 2, Gulf of Oman 64 player public server.

I was on the US team, playing as medic, part of a random squad. We go in to take a flag, I don’t remember the name of it, but it was a horseshoe of sandbags at the end of a building.

Anchovy tastes like rotting rhino.

We had a Doberman years ago and she was the same - tail docked before we got her but still had those lovely, gorgeous floppy ears.

She was daft as a brush - you never had to throw the ball, just show it to her and twitch your hand and she’d be off up the garden like a shot... :-)

I have an encrypted USB stick with all my passwords etc on it. When I want to log into something, I copy/paste the user ID and password. That way, any keylogger will only get CTRL+C and CTRL+V.

I do that all the time. It either freaks them out and they scurry off and hide, or they start laughing, or the best ones are the ones that absolutely flip their lid.

I blew a kiss at a guy who honked me (after he cut me up...) and he kept alongside me on the motorway for, I shit you not, 40 minutes, ranting and raving…

A decent rat-in-a-purse is mana from Nirvana. This threat to the greasy slipper is the one thing that would make me agree with Brexit.

As a white, non-American, I have a question. While it’s impressive that 96% of black people voted for Jones, what reasons could the other 4% have for voting for Moore?

I’m not being funny; I’m genuinely curious.

I can’t even tell if you’re joking or not...

When I was a kid in the early ‘80s, I went on a school exhange trip to Germany. The family I stayed with took us to the Nurburgring for a day out in their 1300 Mk.II Escort.