I assume the Ben Carson solution would have been for all the cheerleaders to send him nudes at once...

There is only one, single, romance author I want to watch on my tv and that is Joan Wilder.

I’ve been eventually dumped or rejected or made to feel like shit in some capacity by almost every dude I’ve ever fucked or wanted to fuck and yet somehow I’ve managed to never mass murder

All my friends are dead of dysentery. :(

HOW’S THAT COOL POPE TREATIN YA, GUYS

Red is always the best flavor. Any candy, it’s always the right choice (though I am on team black licorice)

woman does thing, is happy. society burns.

My imaginary boyfriend is Nathan Fillion. He is perfect in all sorts of ways.

“I do not believe mothers and daughters should be separated.”

I’d pay money for a Trump v Kanye televised debate

I’m a yooooooooge proponent of mandatory home ec to graduate high school/get a GED. How the fuck are we sending 18 year olds out into the world who can’t balance a check book, do laundry, or boil some god damn pasta?

Yes, far better than I’m capable of, frankly.

As a white person, I’m fucking terrified that Trump is going to make some association on the media and only further the racial divide. I can see Fox having a field day. Ugh.

I don’t think I could sit properly till 4 or 5 weeks since my tear went into some muscle. Also, can you imagine carrying your peri bottle into the bathroom? Along with the witch hazel pads, antibacterial spray, hemorrhoid cream, and pads that I had to use. Peeing for the first 4/5 weeks was a 15 minute ordeal that…

After two weeks? My body was still leaking from everywhere and no sleep was happening. I would have needed a donut pillow for my desk job, but can't imagine what I'd need to make it through a day on my feet at that point! Two weeks?

White people who do awful acoustic covers of rap songs will not be treated kindly by history.

Sure! If you don’t like pooping.

For example.