Kudos to this bookseller for refusing to stock it in her store.

I once saw a 15-minute Macbeth performed by tiny multi-colored plastic ninjas and it pretty much ruined me for all other Macbeths.

I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but four years in and our kid has been raised on YouTube clips of Bert and Ernie and Grover in their heyday. Sure, she’s seen Elmo’s World, and loves Abby’s Flying Fairy School, but somehow we’ve managed to keep her entertainment world from becoming completely Elmo-centric. It can…

I write for the smart kids.

Excellent. But you really should try our bagels.

From NPR:

Those wacky kids just can’t hide their love of puns.

Sometimes I thank my lucky stars for being born into a crunchy Northeastern Jewish family and attending an all-women’s art college. And by “sometimes” I mean ALL THE DAMN TIME.

Mazel tov! Sincerely, may you and your husband live a long and happy life together.

My friend went to prison for this. I testified on his behalf as a character witness during sentencing after he was advised by his lawyers to plead guilty. He was a goofy goth kid and the media plastered his face with his punk hairdo everywhere, and he was coerced into a confession. I didn’t believe he was at fault…

My husband would be fine. My daughter's hair would be a complete disaster.

Goddamn Garfield.

I knew my husband was the one for me when he watched me tear into the hindquarters of the gazelle I’d just taken down with my bare hands. A tear came to his eyes as he dropped to his knees and whispered, “I admire you.” I flung some viscera his way to let him know that he was free to snack and we’ve been together ever…

I remember when Craig Kilborne handed the reigns to Jon, he also gave him a telephone book to sit on.

OF COURSE YOU DO.

Sadly it’s more of a headache than a high. Open a window.

Of course, you could also just print photos and stick them on. Or draw charmingly primitive stick figures with Santa hats! So many possibilities. Best of luck.

Gawd, I wouldn’t suggest my crazyface process to anyone, but I order nicely colored A2 envelopes from Envelopes.com (4 3/8 x 5 3/4) and matching 8 1/2 x 11 cardstock. That way you can cut the cardstock in half, fold it (WITH A BONE FOLDER, LAUREN) and each card will fit perfectly into the envelope.

GET A BONE FOLDER.

I have owned my bone folder for fifteen years and I UNABASHEDLY LOVE IT. It’s frigging great at making clean creases, and if you’re the sort of unhinged lunatic who orders paperstock and envelopes in August so that the painstakingly homemade holiday cards go out on time every year having a bone folder is invaluable.…