That’s when I usually find myself saying things in silly voices out of sheer panic. Usually, it’s something like “Housekeeping!” or “Go away, I’m building a rocket!”

...HONEY?!

Honest to gosh, cross my heart this is true.

Thanks, but the way I handled it afterwards was less BA and more E-for-embarrassing. Basically they went through my suitcase, found my weed, and I vehemently insisted that I had no idea how it got there and I had never seen it before in my life. I continued to insist this again and again, even though absolutely no one…

I’m amazed Lena Dunhams poor, bedraggled iPhone hasn’t committed iSuicide yet. Having to listen to her awful Dunpinions all fucking day and night would suck and blow.

i went to mormon girls camp with my mormon cousins (and the rest of my catholic cousins, who were staying with the mormons for a while). we were doing a ropes course and i was way too tall for it, so i was already really off kilter. a bug flew at my face and i said ‘JESUS CHRIST’ and everyone looked at me aghast and i…

Kicked out for smoking weed.

At an office building that I once worked in, there was a bathroom that was down an abandoned hallway. Nobody knew about it, and it was GLORIOUS. I would step away, take as much time as I wanted without anybody barging in, I’d relish in a fleeting moment of solitude then return to work.

I had a bit of a run-in with him years ago, although he was blissfully unaware of any of this. I went to the Huntington Gardens in Pasadena with my sister-in-law, who was really into gardens and celebrity-spotting and we heard that Prince Charles was coming. The Huntington also has an indoor area with all sorts of…

I met him while in college, and he was SO DAMN NICE. Like, was willing to chat with a bunch of college kids about climate change and politics, after shaking hands, out in front of the hall he had just lectured at. I’m sure some of it was just “doing his duty” but he was seriously kind when he had no real reason to be.

lol “blueberry crumpets”

Ok, a quick google. They’re Welsh Cakes, apparently

Yes, but it’s also worth remembering that Kate Middleton also made this face when meeting Idris Elba, which basically translates to “I’m a half a glass of bad chardonnay away from climbing you like a jungle gym, pal,” and you know, there’s a lot to be said for relatability.

I’m British, and I haven’t a fucking clue what that is.

That photo is really horrifying. Is his hair a separate sentient being?

People are so fucking stupid. Whatever, spend your money on stupid shit. See if I care.

“That was so brave Nicolas but I can’t marry you.”

Her dress is AMAZING. I’m hoping that sleeves come back into fashion for wedding dresses before I get my shit together and get married. Pay attention to what the celebrities are doing, designers!