Why should anyone change his or her name, regardless? 

It only took one time of pulling my kids out of a restaurant and making them wait in the car while their food was packed to go, to make decent dining partners out of them. It sucked at the time, it was deeply embarrassing, but it worked.

We have shorthand for this in our marriage - Never Negotiate With Terrorists. We don’t have to give the ultimatum, but if it’s given, it has to be followed through on, or we’re sunk forever.

Honestly, even if it’s break-even, it’s worth it. The parent who stays home for even the short time the babies would be in day care (6 years tops?) loses six years of advancement, six years of social security and retirement contributions and a crap-ton of personal (and possibly marital) agency. That’s the invisible…

As a parent, thank you for your service.

I’d like to be the kind of person who would like burning man.  I’ve slowly accepted to my chagrin that I am not that guy.  

That was truly masterful.

The guy is a full-on serial killer.

50% more diapers than you think you could possibly need for the length of your flight. I flew to Alaska from the east coast with an infant once (Cue Job: “I’ve made a huge mistake”) with insufficient diapers and I’m still suffering the PTSD.

When I traveled with little kids, I always brought an easy change of clothing (tee shirt, leggings - something that would pack small). My kids could be entirely wrapped in bubble wrap and draped in tarps, and they would spill something all over themselves as soon as the fasten seat belts light went on.

That Maitre D’ is the kindest person on the planet.  What a lovely story.

Thinking that was a joke, my dude.  

Jesus Christ, that woman is awesome.   

Rooo, that was delicious. Thanks.

Womp Womp, Alan, you dick.

Voting is everyone's goddamned responsibility.  

I'm in.

I have the Toto Washlet (S300e).   It’s fantastic.

Give us a few years. We’re working the problem - it’s far more embedded then we imagined. I firmly believe we can get that bourbon back to you eventually, however.

They’re also sending these kids to christian foster care and ADOPTION centers. I hope we end up at the Hague for this.