It is a goddamned crime that you are in the grays.

• Are Le Crueset Dutch ovens really that much better than cheaper brands like Lodge? 

Such good advice here.

I KNOW, RIGHT? 3:00 in the afternoon gets my vote - plenty of time to sleep in, leisurely prep over mimosas, the bitties can watch the parade, and dinner is on the table before mum has polished off enough of the the sauv blanc we were going to serve with dinner that we have to open the emergency Cavit.

Wow, that’s a great comment. Your first boss was a BOSS.

And nobody above age 40 or so takes the word “boyfriend” seriously

Edna is my dream stylist. “No CAPES” indeed.

Yes. She’s wearing it, let her pick it out.

“3. Jewelry is not an investment. It does not go up in value. You will never be able to sell what you bought for a profit.”

“I don’t understand why girls want to ball-and-chain themselves for a rock & then get stuck putting out every Tuesday just because it’s on the schedule & you’re still paying off your diamond with your pussy.”

Kind of with you on that analogy. If I buy a new car for what, 70K (? I drive secondhand Toyotas because they are the best cars out there for the moeny, so come at me, kids), but refuse to spend 6K on braces for my kid with the Howdy Doody overbite? That tells one something.

Box wine minis work for me.

<sighs quietly and confesses> I.... I just *LOVE* lovelovelovelove Outsourced and Bride and Prejudice. They’re my go-to just-got-fired-or-dumped/lost-an-argument-because-I-was-wrong/home-sick-with-the-flu-eating-broth-under-a-quilt comfort movies. I love them so much.

This may actually be my next needlepoint pillow pattern. Easy and I can’t wait for the befuddled look when I answer where the pattern came from. So thanks.

What happened to the chorus of adults of my childhood observing “just because you *can* (say/do something), doesn’t mean you should.”

... Except that if all the smart competent people refuse to serve on juries, juries are made up of dumbasses.

“Indeniably”? INDENIABLY? Jesus Christ On An Everloving Pony, where did this <deep breath> *individual* go to school?

Nice.

My experience is that alcoholics (any addict, really) rarely limit their poor behaviour to drinking/substance of choice, so the OP should probably keep that in mind as well.