With an opening like that, you know it's getting degreyed. Cheers!

They are definitely less sour! So disappointing. I think it happened when they added the bullshit blue one.

I also shave my calluses in the living room, and cut my toenails. Then vacuum all that shit up.

The boob hold is SO comforting! Also mine are on the conservative side so I have to periodically remind myself that yes, they can jiggle.

I love this! Late one night I caught my mom-this was many years ago-playing Wolfenstein and screaming, "FUCK YOU, NAZI BASTARDS! I'M COMING FOR ALL OF YOU!" I burst out laughing, and she was all, "What? I like video games. Now you know!" Best moment of my young adult life.

Making up extremely sad, over-the-top stories fit for a bad telenovela in my head and making myself cry silently over them. I do this when I'm bored and trying to fall asleep or feel like crying over nothing. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"I am writing this while drinking rum and eating Cadbury mini eggs in bed."

do you inspect the hell out of your Biore strips, sometimes with reading glasses?

I do that in American. I am British. IS THIS THE TWILIGHT ZONE?!?!

I won't share my wine unless you bring food.

I say really sarcastic things to commercials. Out loud. Like full out mocking them. And then I laugh, because I'm hilarious. It's really tragic.

I'm recently divorced and living alone for the first time ever. It's AMAZING. My ex husband was super critical and I am experiencing freedom like I've never known.

i have my own spot on a couch, nobody else allowed to sit there. I won't share my wine unless you bring food. I like going to movies and theater and travel alone.

Heathcliff, it's me—Cathy.

So now we know what ended the leprechauns...

only carefully placed thermite charges could have broken a man's ribs in the manner seen here

Most dudes go home and beat off after pretty much any encounter with a female. I've been flying half-mast all day since the drive-thru lady asked if I wanted a receipt.

The fools! They've doomed us all!

How about I research how far my foot can go up his ass? What a fucking douchenugget. Releasing usernames and passwords is incredibly douchey but to then say "ITS FOR RESEARCH!", go fuck yourself you pretentious little cunt.

That woman needs to brush her tongue.