I would have settled for removing tax exempt status for all religions before living in a just world.

In a just world, any group that chose to identify as a ‘religious organization’ would immediately lose all their federal contracts.

Out of respect, all local Taco Bells have ordered their flags to be flown at half más

“Told him he was bad at it” - Mrs. Hutchings.

The last time someone dealt with the Knicks, Suns, and Hornets on successive days, it ended with three days of darkness and the death of their firstborn.

As a lifelong Knicks fan I can take small solace in two things, Michael Jordan’s ineptitude at running a basketball franchise and his inability to hit double A pitching. It’s petty and meaningless in the grand scheme of things but what else do I have ?

I actually think he would have been a perfect fit for the Knicks, because he isn’t a very good basketball player.

Your condoms have chinstraps? Kudos to you, big guy!

well, is she paying you to perform? 

the new helmet doesn’t fit right; it gives him a headache; the chinstrap feels weird; he can’t see his periphery (which makes him more vulnerable to big hits and less likely to track the ball in the air); the league’s “health and safety” initiative is bogus and just an attempt to limit liability; there’s no such thing…

Antonio Brown is best example of a WR as a finely tuned instrument since Joe Horn.

When I did my teeth (long awful story; not a single cavity until I was 40, then kerblooey, I’m all implants, bridges and crowns). There’s a temptation, starting from basically scratch, to want the most flawless, white shining chompers possible but fortunately I had a great dentist who advised me to tone it down. In…

I find it weird we’re collectively seemingly totally ok with conspiracy theories explaining what happened to Epstein but seemingly NOT ok with the much simpler and vastly more frightening explanation that our prison system just sucks this much.  Like now that a rich and famous white dude died, we’re paying attention.

Irregardless is not a real word - you heathen. 

Do some research, immigrants are net positive on the economy. Even illegal ones from third world countries. 

Wow, the guy really is in an Ivory tower.

Yeah that was the best thing I’ve seen in a while. It’s funny how moving it is to see star athletes interact like normal, empathetic people, which I think isn’t really an indictment of star athletes as much as the limited view we have into their real personalities.  But this was lovely. 

I heartily encourage everyone to watch that video embedded in the Sportsnet tweet, especially if, like me, your heart is largely filled with contempt and despair for humanity. It’s a nice reprieve from all of that.

This is so irresponsible. All this sort of thing does is lessen people’s readiness for when a REAL sharknado happens.

This has got to be the most stupid person on the internet... and I’ve seen some dumbasses.