I love him, but I'm fairly certain Bill Clinton has never opted out of one bang in his entire life.

James Avery showed up halfway through the performance, hoisted Jazzy Jeff up by the seat of his pants, and hurled him offstage.

Just as an experienced delivery guy he could probably tell it wasn't based on the weight and the fact that it doesn't say fragile.

Sounds like he's an awesome dad!

I'd still hit it. Like the fist of an angry God.

Yeah, so I had 10 mini-donuts today (6 for breakfast and 4 for dessert tonight). I was trying to do the math: how many mini-donuts to a regular donut. Did I eat 3 full size donuts today? 5? Then I realized, I don't care so much, as long as I have more left for tomorrow's breakfast! :)

I have a pan of blondies in the oven. Here's my problem: HOW am I going to wait until they properly cool before shoving them all into my facehole?

Time to stop doing nice stuff for him, brother or not?

I hope Barbara has a third bedroom...

Fix your own fucking car then. Don't ask for help with the computer either. Next time the lawn needs to be mowed, or the trash needs taken out, or you can't figure out how to work the remote, or you need someone to hook up the new TV... Bullshit. Women who complain about stereotypes and unfair treatment need a taste…

Jessica Biel says she "definitely" wants to make babies with Justin Timberlake.

I did 90% of my Christmas shopping online at work today. They can make me be there. But they can't make me work!

Elton Settee - Lagoon
$749
at west elm

Sweet Potato Casserole Blondies. Blondies with a sweet potato casserole twist. Blondies, marshmallows, candied pecans and caramel GOOD LORD.

This it truly the only reason I don't still do coke. I don't want to be that pathetic old fart in an emergency room somewhere complaining of chest pain. There's no good outcome to that scenario. Either you are having cocaine induced chest pain and anxiety or you are having a cocaine induced heart attack.

way back in 1961 as an infant i nearly died from celiac, because it also made me allergic to milk products, so i was starving to death. all the doctors told my parents i was just colicky so i was getting no treatment whatsoever. finally my parents took me to this ancient pediatrician who instantly recognized what…

I'm surprised this isn't more of a story than it is. I know people mention it but I mean, it is almost as insane as he is the impact that had on his public persona. Where is she now?

Annie Hall La di da

My dog Sydney went as Jennifer Anniston this year.