This is the first time, “Do you know who my parents are” did absolutely nothing to help them. I bet if you ask them, over half compare themselves to refugees in one way or another...

Because it was all trustafarians with absolutely zero perspective. For rich sheltered dipshits, anything less than easy comfort is suffering.

I can’t get over how everyone speaking about this FYRE fiasco keep talking about people being “safe”. You can almost hear the hushed tones around the word. Give me a break. A day or two stuck on an island in the Bahamas with apparently no water or plumbing system admittedly sounds awful, but I really don’t think…

I was going to complain about a hairy, sarcastic, brown neighbor who, I believe, has been eating my cats.

Folks, this is what happens when you demand Deadspin stick to sports.

Alien day being on 4/26 is goddamn stupid. It should fall on the 426th day of the year, dummies.

I need a moment to compose myself so I can give a proper response to this...

truly a shocking turn of events

The first four games of the Celtics-Bulls series made no sense.

I could get dick literally anytime

Perhaps Felger’s wife will say to him, “I wish YOU had worked more.”

That’s why I tend to applaud companies who force employees to take their vacation days. Everyone needs a break now and then, no matter how EXTREME their work ethic is.

The best is when people you know talk about how “productive” they are and feel the need to be “productive” on their days off from work, because if they aren’t actively accomplishing something then they are a failure.

It’s the same mindset that causes idiots to voluntarily not use their vacation days because they have such a better work ethic than you, bro.

You know what nobody’s said on their deathbed? “I wish I’d worked more.”

To be fair the wife and kid probably wanted him to go back to work. I mean could you imagine spending more that a day with that guy?

“Hockey isn’t your thing.”

You’re very cool. Congratulations on being very cool.

People boasting about their emulation setup:gamers::people boasting about their fantasy teams and poker beats:sports fans

Hey, good for you, but you could say that about a lot of consumer items. Some people don’t have the time or skill for these things and would rather just buy one ready made.