For some reason I don’t feel like blaming the loss on the only guy who scored points for his team yesterday.

goddammit im not woke at all

The real sin is hearing tons of Bostonians pronounce “carport.”

O ye of little faith...

Since this is the Browns, I half expected to hear that they hired Jonah Hill.

After watching this GIF, it’s easy to conclude that Rich Old Guy Performatively Dressed In Casual Wear is your typical square who went and crapped all over what could have been a cool moment with his supreme awkwardness.

I don’t know, that looks pretty good by Kobe’s standards. He hit at least one out of five there.

How I picture Ellie and Joanna

If I was forced to watch Josh McCown start for the Browns every week, I’d be an alcoholic too.

I’m glad there aren’t any koala bears in America.

I hate the trend of having a fit over the trends of the moment and acting like your special because of it. There’s a sort of irony in this “I’m so above this, I don’t just do what everyone else does” that so fricking many people do. The trite culture of complaining about trite culture. If you don’t like it don’t do…

It’s a sad but true fact that when Scott Walker massively reduced funding to the University of Wisconsin system, one of the first things to be cut from the budget was the Female orgasm.

One source said the procedure Pierre-Paul had done Sept. 4 to “close up” his middle finger was still fresh when he met with team doctors on Sept. 7.

The last time something got burned that badly, the Chancellor was given everything he wanted.

“ah yes, i hear you workers like a refreshing lager after a hard day, just as i do”

HELLO FELLOW BLUE COLLAR HUMANS, I, HILLARY CLINTON, RELATE TO YOU, AS YOU CAN SEE, BY THIS GIANT PIECE OF FARM EQUIPMENT

Somehow the most horrifying thing here is that a 30 year old man told his mother to go to the store to get him a sandwich and a soda - AND SHE DID IT.

You forgot Donald Trump is also a sentient dried apricot. I don't know if this is a strength or weakness.

Personally I can’t talk about a few of my exes. Because when you invoke the name of a demon they tend to materialize out of thin air.