I’m going to say two very unpopular things:

no way he made it all the way to the Astros

You’re thinking of the Wizards. Basketball.

The team that claimed him only did so to block him from being traded. So that’s why.

How on earth could you have just learned what a foul ball is in baseball?

Uh, if this is a “new baseball rule” that you just learned, you really have no business writing for a sports blog.

Wait, did you really not know that rule?

Tim Burke Welcomes You To The College Football Season In A Way Only Deadspin Can, Condescending While Badly Incorrect

Fuck East Tennessee.

What are you going to do, sue them?

Will they honor the 50th aniversary of the first boy he molested, too? Don’t be niave, JoePa probobly fucked little boys with Sandusky.

It's a good thing they've been banned from the place they didn't go to. Otherwise they might have not gone there again.

How butt hurt are Jays fans that they’re still talking about this? Don’t worry, it’ll be hockey season soon, so when the Blue Jays disappoint you again you’ll be ready for the Maple Leafs to suck for the 10th season in a row.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

And because you mentioned Barry Fucking Bonds, I’ve got to get this off my chest:

Even Maris had to hit them further.

Well, he hit it right to the sweet spot at the Stadium. Basically that was an opposite field double.

Lol sweet straw man Timmy. Really knocked it out of the park there!