All true.

What lie? This pamphlet right here notes that there is a 95.7% chance your penis will fall off if you use ED meds. Pamphlets don't lie!

Why can’t men accept impotence as what it so very clearly is? God’s will for them.

I say we need to keep a log of the wood, perhaps even a 72 hour reflection period before each dose to make sure they really want to go in there.

It was probably more like, “Bey! Airbnb paid me $2million to namecheck them on Instagram! You should get up on that.”

I would LOVE an Eli spin-off and his daughter, Marissa, needs to be the second lead. Also, Jackie needs to show up here and there just to piss him off. Eli flummoxed by Jackie is always hilarious.

It kind of sucks that of all characters, Noah was the one who didn’t have an arc.
(I’ll show myself out, thanks.)

Are you seriously saying she caused this by not shutting him down in the “right” way? If you’re saying that, that is really fucked up. Because she did everything right and it still wasn’t enough.

Pretty horrible, but sums up what many Hilary supporters believe. Somehow because I’m a woman I should be voting for Hilary because she’s one as well. Or I’m sexist because I don’t vote for Hilary. Everyone wants to talk about BernieBros, but Clinton supporters are just as bad (if not worse) when it comes to these…

They could be holding puppies and kittens that fell asleep in each other’s arms.

I think it’s more like “thank you for taking the time to think positively about my family.” Or in other words,“thanks for trying.” Religious or not, if a stranger is taking a moment to concentrate on the healing of your father, whether prayer is bullshit or not, that’s very kind.

I’m not especially religious, but I take “I’m praying for you” as less “I’m praying for a magical cure for cancer” than “I’m praying that you and your loved one will find peace somehow and you’re in my thoughts and in my heart.”

Avery is probably going to get out even though there’s a big chance he really is guilty, and poor Brendan is going to rot in prison, because apparently everyone has either forgotten he exists or no one cares.

No matter how old he got, the moment he smiled, it’s like all the years melted away. Like this photo was taken a few days before his death. (By Iman, no less.) What a fantastic smile.

“If that is not practical, then I direct that my executors shall arrange for my remains to be cremated and my ashes scattered in Bali,” the will continued”

It’s actually very common for young people receiving a large inheritance to not get the proceeds until they are a little older. Until then it will be managed in trust on her behalf.

Maybe to keep her from turning into Lindsay Lohan? Or maybe there’s a tax reason.

Analog dick pics! OMG

Hahaha, no, I meant four episodes: winter, spring, summer and fall. I realize now that my original comment can be unclear.

Nah Milo Ventimiglia is a hot piece but he was always 8 years older than me so I don’t feel as weird about it.