All I ever really wanted for my daughter was for her to live in an ultra-violent dystopian future, and this will show her that it really is possible. Great job, Internet!

I know my floppy is more likely to stick around if I've had a few too many drinks. Hard to get rid of at that point.

Maybe El-P could write it off as a production cost for Meow The Jewels.

I stopped sharking a minute to comment about Original Pirate Material, before I realised I was thinking of the wrong album.

I'll often defend Kanye and his dbag behavior. The ego is such a huge part of the artist, even if its misdirected.

Are you saying that normal children are porn to you?

You crack me up, little buddy.

She's not going to say no. Because of… the implication.

If you want to see incredible range, search YouTube for Great Ders of History.

The only part that was a rumor was that it was a quart. Lil Kim clarified that it was a 40 shawty.

Road Chip? Sounds chiphouse.

"I got Spiderman out of Sony."
"You idiot! He was the most talented one!"

You may need to see a Dr if your qweefs smell like onion.

Pedantry done correctly deserves a Great Job, Internet.

Buscemi has his EGOTS necklace already. Now he's just gotta win the awards.

How did this article progress beyond the headline?

Thanks Obameasles!

A Wetter Tomorrow

My gravel pit has been sore ever since.

Wait, I'm confused about this sport… so the Patriots knew the ball boy was setting them up?