I would like to know the magic spell for getting ungreyed.

I like smoked salmon. I like vodka. But no.

Kinja loves to eat images. It’s kinja’s most favoritest food.

Starred for “shitasses.” I love that word.

You got banned?!?

My Twitter handle would dox me. But I'll lurk on #twinja. I'll just talk out loud to the screen. It's sorta like being in the grays.

I am drinking all the wine.

That's fantastic!

Her sincere joyful enthusiasm is a balm on my cynical soul.

I stand corrected, then. Throwing a bunch of caviar on vegetables and shellfish is “cooking.”

Leslie Jones is a national treasure.

I would like to try Snoop Dogg’s cannoli recipe.

You know the belly rub game is too strong when the dog pees.

Is throwing a bunch of caviar on vegetables “cooking?” If so, I guess I've been doing it wrong.

Do you work at Hooter’s?

He’s going to let slip Obama’s plan to send Malia to marry the Dornish prince.

Autocorrect may be on to something. Four goats stitched together could explain a lot of things about US government / politics.

Kinja eated my picture.

Vermont is the Yin to New Hampshire’s yang.

Oh dear.