To be fair, at that point in his career he was mostly getting punched in the face for millions of dollars generating so many new revenue streams.

This is an amazing non-sequitur.

Well, it didn’t quite work out that way.

Stick to sports.

Sorry, I was going to comment sooner, but I kept accidentally clicking on Kinja Deals stories.

I mean, it IS good news

If you ask Nike, yes

Michael Jordan would never have recruited AD, but if he did, which he wouldn’t have, and wanted to give him his number 23, which he wouldn’t have, he would have closed the deal, because he was a killer. You think Phil Knight would have wanted a piece of MJ one on one in the boardroom? My friend, he would not. LeBron…

My wife swears she saw one once on vacation, but I was not there so I can’t confirm it.

My hot take is that any mythical creature that is a mash-up of existing creatures (e.g. Manticore) is a failure of imagination and does not deserve a high ranking.

What color was her skin? Asking for a racist.

Mermaids are real. Saw one while i was at the beach a few years back, she was out about 50 yards into the water, frantically waving her hands at me, non-verbal creatures, so I imagine this is how they say “hello” and then she just went under the water and I never saw her again.

(Anybody who replies to this with that Ron Burgundy “that escalated quickly” meme will be shot through my bathroom door.)

I tried a similar move over one of those big concrete Kit Kat bar-shaped things in front of my parking spot. It didn’t go well. I had to have both legs amputated just below the knee. Then I murdered my girlfriend through a bathroom door in South Africa.

That’s not what ‘always’ means.

What if I told you that a basketball player decided to win Finals MVP with every franchise in the NBA?

You’re weird.

He wasn’t talking about Asians, your grandpa was talking about the plague of porcelain or china homunculi that wonder this country between 1927 and 1962. For a long time the problem seemed unsolvable and destiny to just keep getting worse.

Jared Weiss probably struggled pretty hard to not use the term “reneger”