The second and third best things in life are the drink before and the cigarette after.

"Evacuate now? At our moment of triumph?"

Could you send some missionaries to save some souls in our Heartland?

Looks like fat, drunk, and stupid is a way to get through life!

Agree. I like family values. But that should include keeping the air and water clean for future generations.

No doubt. Roosevelt at least understood that if there was no more wilderness then there'd be no more hunting big game.

No offense taken. It would just be so much easier to do something about environmental issues if conservatives were on board.

FAKE FUELS

I wish conservatives were into conserving.

He saw the words "asada" and "carnitas" and his face froze in uneducated confusion.

I agree. Some people drive giant V8 4x4 trucks and others can't afford the gas.

Are you ready for the summer?

Will they reveal how to take Natalie Dormer there on a date?

You'll get nothing for reposted riffs.

But that's just an Olive Garden.

Want to sit in the slobs or the snobs section?

Waiter! Wanna earn $20 the hard way?

You take drugs, Rob?

You can get your steak anyway you want it, that's the way you need it.

TUSK!