This is an interesting French dialect you speak. 

It’s Cougar Gold, from Washington State University, and it’s unfuckingbelievably good. Worth the splurge.

I once made a mix CD that was only Check On It.

There is a disgusting pile of dog crap on the sidewalk on the way home from the grocery store—every week we pass it and I go oh, right, gross, that pile of dog crap.

Morgan Fairchild still looks great!

This comment is delightfully poetic. Thank you for making it.

BeardOn

it’s a FEATURE

In Baldwin’s defense, he’s removed one asshole from Twitter now.

Look, I try to be open-minded and sex-positive and whatever the fuck, but then I read an advice column where a person’s husband is sexting their own cousin and the response is that they should look up the legal definition of cousin-fucking and twist themselves into knots to arrive at a place where you can sext your…

And let’s not forget that his wartime political cartoons were published in a socialist magazine.

I’m imagining someone buying The Lorax, to own the Libs, sitting down, actually reading, and realizing that “This is some Commie trash!”

I think you meant to say “Tortugas Ninja Adolescentes Mutantes”

My younger sibling and I would do this on the regular but with sugar cubes from a local takeout place. Sugar cubes were this amazing self-packaged thing that didn’t exist in our household, and you could put them on your tongue and let them slowly melt their sweetness into your very happy mouth.

The gelatin powder in it had a different crunch. 

You win “first gag” of the post for me!   lol.  Horf!!

I got really into Tang for a hot minute as a kid, but not as a drink. I’d chew up a bunch of gum (and sometimes freeze it) and then coat it in tang and chomp away until it needed more tang. I even constructed a tang dispenser using toilet paper rolls.

Sugar packets. Every time we went to a restaurant, I would load up on sugar packets. Like, hundreds of them. I would carry them around in my pockets. At random times when I decided I felt “stressed”, I would rip one of those babies open and shoot it down like an 80s frat boy with a Jagermeister. Then I would do an “ohh…

Open a package of Jello and eat the powder with a spoon, without the benefit of water. Tangy, sweet, and probably the worst thing you could do to your teeth.