She’s just mad because a Baggins took her precious and she hates it forever.

“Don’t put hot dog toppings between the hot dog and the bun. Always ‘dress the dog,’ not the bun.”

Counterpoint: buy a $20 rice cooker. Preferably the one that Cook’s Illustrated recommends.

In the case of pork it would depends on how farmers react. If they keep the animals alive prices will steadily rise as they’ll have spent more to raise those pigs by the time they bring them to slaughter. Any pork already slaughtered may see a price drop in order to move the surplus left over due to the decreased…

No, you did exactly the right thing. Because, damn, did you ever show her!

Can it still be called a breach when you throw open your front doors and scream “Everything Must Go!”?

From her Facebook post that is linked to in the Post article (yes, I not only clicked through to the article, but then clicked through from there to her Facebook post. That’s how much I hate my job):

At our local foofy cupcake place, if you’re not there by 11, you’re out of luck.

That’s the perfect amount...for REVENGE! So, a revenge-based business model. Worked for Apple.

Well, this seems like one of those things where the data makes sense but kind of frames the conclusion in an odd way.

Mine knocked over the candle and tried to burn the place down...

We save the rough stuff for Tuesday nights.

Keepin’ it real!

I’m totally ghosting my wife on our next date night.

Doctor said I needed a backiotomy and subscribed me some purple sticky punch.

There was going to be a dramatic reveal in the third film where she finds an old preschool registration form where her name is listed as “Rey Binks.”

We are farmers, bum ba dum bum bum bum bum

The sign could just as well read, “we still want your money, just, could you maybe not be such assholes to our underpaid staff?”

I never sausage marketing genius.

I know, right? I fucking love it.