The fuck was in that cup, kerosene?

He will never get the no hit her that most pitchers strive for.

That is the one she goes too, and she SWEARS it is better than the Red Lobsters here, but that still makes it shit compared to fish in Hawaii.

You lifted your head.

My wife’s Mom eats at the Red Lobster in Honolulu.

Carmen’s or GTFO.

Excellent read, but you did not mention the hardest part of croquet, which is not spilling your beer.

You totally know he farted on the goalie after that score.

I, uh, don’t think I share your fetish.  Not judging or anything, we all got our things.

Gotta go quick, while the 10 different studio logos play their animation.

Wait till you have kids.

Between the previews and the movie is the perfect time to go get a refill.

My wife fights with her mother constantly. It is hilarious because it is like she is arguing with herself. In my younger, extremely naive days I once got in the middle and got to experience the absolute pants shitting terror that was the two of them coming after me.

Both Keenum and Tannehill are on one year seven million dollar deals while Kaepernick is looking for 20 million, according to this:

I heard this and I too thought it was a dog whistle, so I looked it up.

He should have a job, but he wants starter money and no one is gonna pay that.

Subway has reached out to his agent on his availability.

Just put McCaffrey in at quarter back, he is gonna get the ball on every play either way.

Bring back the weck and all is forgiven.

If it goes off of TBS they will have 25 hours of prime time programming they will need to fill.