Why would the UFC push Mighty Mouse? He’s never won a game show. He’s never headlined a WWE PPV. He’s never missed weight. He was never on Entourage. He’s never failed a drug test. He’s never been arrested.

Is it me, or since the sale has Dana White seemed really fucking bad at running a business?

You gotta let this shit go. The UFC hasn’t been a real sport for a long time: title shots decided by game shows, title shots decided by WWE PPV performance. Dana White is a wrasslin booker, not a fight promoter, and I think you’ll enjoy the show a lot more (or find something better to do like watch paint dry) if you…

I had almost the opposite happen with a woman I worked with. She kinda bullied me into playing on her team because she was a player down. I was the only dude on the team. Technically, they were a team of ringers. They’d all played softball for Florida State, and the woman I worked with was basically Gary Payton in a…

If you want to find competitive women you should get into an endurance sport: running, swimming, cycling. You’ll find out real quick how intense you aren’t and how bad you suck.

You sound like Al Bundy.

Pro Tip: Team owners don’t have $15 haircuts. They either have $1000 haircuts, or they do it themselves with a butter knife.

What the fuck is going on at Ohio State?

Thevenard reportedly left the Ouray aid station, which is 44 miles into the race, after mere minutes. A few miles outside of town, a photographer witnessed the Frenchman stopping at a crew car and taking on some water and ice.

Cheating at ultramarathon is really pathetic. Is there even prize money?

As a doctor friend of mine once said “look, I’ll prescribe pickled mouse farts for your condition, but first show me a double-blind control grouped survey on effectiveness and safety.”

...completely shut down the Dallas Cowboys in the NFC championship game.

This story makes me sad, because it reminds me of whenever Warren Sapp would look dead in the camera and talk about how Dilfer was the worst QB to ever play. But then I remember Warren Sapp, and basically everyone who’s ever worked for the NFL Network, is an abusive asshole.

You’re not wrong. Drew does this to himself by trying to be in control of a bunch of shit he can’t control: his family, traffic, and costs.

How’s DeRozan’s contract bad? He’s the 15th or 16th highest paid player in the league right now, and he’s locked in for another two years. He makes less than Paul Milsap.

And I still go to the grocery store to get my shit, mostly because I don’t want someone picking my steak for me. I want full steak control. I also reserve the right to make an impulse pork rinds purchase if I so desire.

I think Pujols has a reasonable chance to catch Hank Aaron for RBIs. He’s less than 350 behind him. If Pujols plays another four years that’s like 80-85 a year. It’s not crazy.

How to describe Serena at Wimbledon:

I was at a gas station once when a panhandler rolled up on me and said, “I’m not gonna lie: I’m a quarter short for a beer. Can you help me out?”

How many SJWs do you think were on that conference call? When the NFL cut ties with Papa John’s was it because guys like Jerry Richardson and Jerry Jones and Bill Bidwell were offended by the racism? These were a bunch of dyed in the wool capitalists who got sick of Schnatter fucking up the money. He’s stupid and loud…