When Fancy Kristen said she wanted “a car filled with coke,” this is not what she meant.

The police have nothing to go on.

Then after Trump and Ball defeat the aliens, we discover that the visitors were benevolent and were here to usher in a golden age of peace and prosperity ...

Really, there’s only one way Trump making first contact can go down:

Not its fault though as hangar rental fees and values have skyrocketed since its parents’ generation, vastly outpacing income from smuggling opportunities.

I’m so used to it that I forget how much worse on your hands working on a car in the cold is. Every bump seems more likely to cause a bleeding injury.

Where is that Cleveland Browns letter when you need it?

“in University” and “Kraft Dinner” outs Nicholas as a low-down, shifty-eyed, Labatt-drinking Canuck.

Can I get a Hell Yeah from Argentina?

Wow that looks really sweet...but man, the first thing that comes to mind seeing that large VW badge is “I bet he can’t roll down the window because that broke again...”

I once watched a man pass out while in the middle of eating a bologna sandwich. Just before starting to eat it, he put a packet of mayo on it. He wasn’t sober enough to eat a sandwich, but he was sober enough to know not to eat balogna without mayo.

I would give this two thumbs up, if I could. -JPP

I wish I had an automatic lock button in my office.
I’d use it to keep people out, though.

Nice timing, Skipper. Happy holidays.

A truly successful coach was already getting away with having Schiano as his defensive coordinator.

I’m still rooting for Giant Meteor.

A perfect metaphor for her career.

Oh man, I forgot about the Z24 Rubik’s cubes.

This is my favorite post about hipsters. +1