Hillary should just bring a family size bag of Cheetos and sit it in the front row.

This is kinda like that time my ex brought my ex best friend that he fucked while we were married as his date to a wedding where we were both mutual guests. But worse?

I guess Trump’s tiny hands can only grasp at the really wispy straws.

As the locals would say, he robbed them blind.

yas cheese

I know, but if you’re clever with it, you can convince people of a concept that they would absolutely not agree to otherwise.

listen, let’s not let the wacko conspiracy theories overshadow Hillary’s actual health problems. i have extensive experience in this area and there is literally no issue more debilitating than seasonal allergies. what if her hands are covered in mucus and she hits the “bomb the earth” button by accident? what if she’s…

a sprint that was so turbo she seemed to barely be able to stop herself from running even after she reached the finish line first.

The point of chicken wings is the sauce + blue cheese dressing. The wing itself is just a vehicle to shovel the other two into your face.

I served you chicken last week so to ask me to edit and publish this now was a bold move.

I enjoy Dwayne Johnson, but if it’s really just a matter of some comment Vin Diesel made that wasn’t personal to anyone, then maybe the Rock needs to cool it.

What we’re saying is, ‘Black lives matter, too.’ Period.