Yeah, it’s fun to pretend. Face this: any schmuck can have kids. This is demonstrably true.

Yeah, it’s fun to pretend. Face this: any schmuck can have kids. This is demonstrably true.

I always thought Hanks should have played Calvin Candie in Django Unchained.

The analogy between the two chairs and this film is a clever one, but let’s keep in mind that it’s also creative sophistry; whether this movie is “authentic” or not is a matter of opinion, while the authenticity of the chairs is not.  This would only be a proper analogy if the antiques dealer were explaining at length…

I love how you’re quoting think-pieces that haven’t been written about jokes no one’s heard.

You know not to use an apostrophe between the “0" and the “s” in “70s.” Knowing how apostrophes work is so rare, I actually wanted to point it out.

Here - you’ll enjoy this much more than that article you posted.

“Mackenzie Davis is hot” is all they have left to make me consider watching it. 

Ditto on the cunt thing.

Here’s a better excuse: you’re a cunt.

I was confused because I thought you were talking about big black cocks

How is Serial Mom not on that list?

“Incredible” is probably not the best adjective to compliment acting.  Since it means, you know, not convincing.

It’s ironic that your plot synopses for those three films you’re using as examples of films with plots aren’t actually fucking plots.

I’m guessing you didn’t mean that she’s vaguely impartial. 

I think seeing the horse was meant to seem enchanting rather than traumatic.  

No.

This reply by people like you is so typical I’m not sure it’s not a joke.

Game of Thrones has never been here to give you happy, uplifting endings. I have no idea why anyone expected them to come now.

Reid, I would fire you for that first paragraph alone.  Seriously - read it.  Obviously for the first time.