it’s near “The Iraq”

The Africa

People keep asking me why these things bother me so much, and why we should keep doing things like send aid or provide healthcare, and it’s seriously like, “I literally cannot explain to you how not to be asshole. Because that’s what this is, your gross inability to care for other people.”

Is that a still from the movie? Because he looks like he’s not sure if that thing he’s holding is a skinny feather duster or a really big Q-tip. Isn’t he supposed to be the king of kink or something?

Good. Now can we work on booting Jimmy Fallon for his annoying portrayal of a talk show host?

I’M NOT ON TRIAL HERE

I used to laugh at things like this, because of course I’d never do anything like this—until I did.

Well, if this isn’t the girl’s alcoholic, “bottom”, I don’t know what is. I’m sober 11 years myself, but I worked for a time volunteering with alcoholics and addicts in the 28 day residential program at a famous rehab hospital. I’ve heard thousands of these stories. Thousands. I hope she gets help before she lays…

I have to disagree. It was a risky move, no question, but he ended up stopping her. Who knows what kind of damage could have done if she had driven any distance.

“Drank almost an entire bottle of Fireball”

Hemingway’s best short story was also his most succinct. It was one sentence long:

That said, there is a town named rat’s mouth.

Around here we call that “saturday.”

Maid of honor means she’s single, right? Asking for a friend