Sergio needs his own weekly column at Jalop.

This is what the $6,800 worth of damage looked like:

Cop 1: What kind of gun is that?

Really? A 2 star comment? Thought the Top Gear Tent one would take it.

Once you reach a certain age, pitching a tent gets harder and harder.

As the good Lord said, “be thy rich in seed, be’st poor in car”-Ford 2:50. Saddle up, ‘father’, you’ve got yourself a congregation to haul.

That’s what happens when someone forgets to lock the dieselgate.

I know right? This is easy, turns out I don’t even need to spend the $125k!

The hinged windshield could be great for those rugged excursions to soccer practice. Tilt it forward for an unobstructed view of Madison and Jacob out there on the field as you sit in car and sip your latte, avoiding that other mom who is constantly on your ass because you bought non-organic postgame treats when it…

I dunno, LuciFord kinda has a certain ring to it...

I use my dog’s name for initial contact, when they call for him I just say he can’t come to the phone, is too busy licking his junk-

Fake News! David Tracy is being paid off by big automatic. Sad.

But finds out the car is actually fine after a quick and easy fix and leaves it with the original owner, because the journalist doesn’t have the heart to take it.

I feel like there’s a really good short story here about an automotive journalist in the year 2045 who drives 800km to retrieve a broken down 2010 x6M from a retired Uber driver.

It must have encountered an extremely modest bend in the road.

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing where to drift to
When the rain set in

If only we could find a car we knew his son would think is cool, that’s also fast and has a reliable toyota engine. How will we ever dream up such a car.