Like I'm sad, but then I'm like....NOW JOHN CHO IS FREE TO GO BE OLIVIA POPE'S NEW BOYFRIEND! Or go and try to win the heart of the one and only Abigail Mills.

It doesn't have to be a "never ending battle" if his CAPTIVE audiences stop being docile. Maybe if more people talked back to him, he'd eventually get worn out and STFU. How many people is this one asshole annoying/offending? About time HE had to listen to some unwelcome input.

One year my roommates and I decided to go out as the stock market collapse. We wore 1920's garb and then covered ourselves in awfully realistic looking cuts, bruises, breaks, etc. Through the course of the night things got a little silly and one of our group got extremely intoxicated. We carried him with us to the…

My dad works for the Department of Homeland Security.

Would you say he looked "udderly defeated"?

Years ago, I was living in New Orleans, where we take Halloween (and indeed, any Drinking Occasion) very seriously, and my parents and grandmother happened to come in on November 1 for brunch on the top floor of an upscale local hotel. Afterward, we were riding back down in the elevator, and it stopped to let on a…

[Two years ago(?)] Still in my full Magenta costume, makeup, and hair, I woke up on my friends kitchen floor. In my hand, a candy bar. The box was on the counter. I deducted that after the party, very very drunk, I went to stay at my friend house. And at some point during the night had gotten up from the couch to get…

My freshman year of college I rented out a room in a 10 bedroom house one block off of greek row. My roommates and I decided to throw a huge party for halloween and there was a steady stream of revelers in and out of the house all night long, party hopping. There was one girl with the coolest DIY costume I'd ever…

Oh god

I saw a drunk dude wearing a striped poncho and a tacky sombrero + a gunslinger type belt that held plastic shotglasses trying to hail a taxi.

He dropped/stepped on his hat, stooped to retrieve it and haphazardly placed the crushed sombrero back on his head, then he removed the last empty shotglass from his belt and…

I didn't see this one, but rather I lived it. My costume was "Roller Girl", complete with old school skating rink roller skates. There was a "gentleman" whose attention I had commanded—he didn't live in the city that I did, so I accompanied him to his hotel. After a few hours of sleep, I decided it was time to make my…

Women get to have a life experience that men do not: they can carry a child within them that they will eventually birth. They get to bond with their unborn child and form attachments far earlier than men do with their children. Jealousy is not the emotion here; it's envy. Pregnancy is pure magic to me, and I envy…

what do white girls and prime numbers have in common?

If you will allow me to get very, very real for a minute: this hysteria over basic is really just a bunch of privileged white girls caring too much about what other people think.

JUST BE YOURSELF AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, YO.

Since my tale of how I flew to Canada to get laid failed to even get me out of the greys last week, I'm going to tell you EXACTLY how my Canadian beau broke up with me when I got there. It's pretty raunchy and I apologize in advance.

2 days before Valentine's day, we're sitting at our local bar and somehow get onto a conversation that basically goes like this "you make me miserable." "omg! you make me miserable too!" "want to go to Red Lobster? I have a gift certificate." "YES." Then we went to Red Lobster for our 'breakup dinner' and ordered the…

I've actually commented about this on another article but my friends little sister, who is 12 years old, broke up with someone in the most hilarious and hardcore way ever. Like never in a million years would I be this clever and I am an adult. She apparently went up to her then boyfriend and said "Want to see a magic…