Because you can’t bring it up on Deadspin on the post to which he was referring. That’s the whole fucking point.

“This year, through Sunday’s afternoon games, there have been 63 attempts (with six two-point attempts) and three four (see update below) misses, by the Chargers, Jaguars, and Texans, with the Bengals getting blocked. (We also got a 48-yard attempt in Browns-Jets, for the longest extra point attempt in NFL history.)…

Mike Patrick is not a football announcer. He is a decorative foodstuff, like those bowls of fake apples in model homes.

They went for 2 once. If they had made the 2-point conversion, they would be tied at 28 now rather than down 27-26.

No.

Fuck that, score 120

AINT MUCH BETTER IN HERE, KID

In conclusion, it’s an automatic suspension if a player touches an ump, but umpires can become bouncers? Ridiculous.

Maybe you guys can send a poncho to this couple, you know, to avoid getting battered by an NFL player.

Professional baseball announcers.