That was my first thought, too. I consider myself a “good” man, though in actuality I’ve probably only been about 87% good on the spectrum. Gotta teach our sons to be near perfect in this area.

Talk to your male friends. Make them think about their behaviour. Pay it forward, sort of

I’ve thought a lot about one particular incident. When I was newly 20, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. I was devastated, but I was working as a summer camp counselor where we were all 18-21, and one girl in particular was seemingly interested in me. We hung out a few times with my friends and I went to…

We have to be better than we were. I’m encouraged and heartened by reading my brothers’ moral quandaries about their past behaviors, because it echoes the concerns I have about my own. How could it be a bad thing in the slightest to do an intensive and honest self inventory? It’s learned behavior, and it can be…

Same here. This article and the earlier one from the woman who was assaulted while asleep have made me do the same, even 20+ years out of college. The bit here about swigging vodka and the bit in the earlier article about falling asleep in someone else’s bed bring back uncomfortable college memories where things got…

Thank you for sharing your story, as well, it also takes a ton of guts to admit you have been part of the problem. And lets face it, we all have been at one point or another.

One thing you can do - call it out when you see other guys doing it. It takes so much to go against the grain, but it also takes just one guy speaking up sometimes to diffuse a potentially bad situation.

Yeah I’ve been replaying some shitty behavior in my 20s in my mind. I was pushy at times. I never ignored a hard no, but I did try to get people to change minds, stuff like that. I feel a little sick thinking about it, and I wish I knew then what I know now.

I’ve been the guy on the other side—using women’s reluctance to give a hard “no” as an opening to keep pushing.

It’s funny (not in a ha ha sense, obviously) but this is exactly what has been going through my mind since the whole “metoo” hashtag campaign. I’ve thought back on all of the times I’ve been intimate with people, sometimes while intoxicated, sometimes not. I’ve thought back on all the times I’ve had someone of the…

It certainly did me. It has forced me to re-evaluate a lot of my previous interactions with women. It has also made me realize I need to be exceedingly proactive in teaching my son about consent, boundaries, accountability, etc.

I hope this makes some of those “good men” try to remember the things they have forgotten. I hope that realizing you are an unself-aware part of the solution is still part of the problem. It certainly had that effect on me.

While your outrage is understandable, your framing is problematic - the board should care about HW’s victims NOT because the board members have wives/sisters/daughters/mother’s, but because those victims are PEOPLE. I am a person (also a wife, mother, daughter, sister, etc) but it is MY PERSONHOOD that matters, not…

Yes we will, kiddo. :)

Holy shit, I’m so sorry this happened to you. Men are trash.

YOU ARE BRAVE. (And you too, OK to be C). Witness me, sisters: Your bravery has nothing to do with reporting your rape or not. Nothing. Don’t you let our messed up culture tell you that shit. You survived it. You kept going and you keep going now. You move in the world. What is braver? I can’t name anything.

Internet strangers probably stopped me from ending my life; they certainly helped me take the final step and block his number recently. Sometimes you get lost when you’re isolated and confused, so the clarity offered by strangers is important. I feel like I can start to find a way out now.

Omg I’m so sorry.

She was in custody and they are having sex with her. Regardless, this is an issue. The very base of this. Why are cops having sex with women in custody?! Then, add in that it was not consensual. Then, add in that she was a teen. So, their very argument is a problem. I am going to venture that there is a legality issue…