Yea, almost certainly you could ingratiate yourself with some group of chimps, but you would also be a traitor to humanity. Then there would be a fight scene with a close relative (estranged son or daughter) on some high-up catwalk, where you’re shouting over the wind in kind of a deadpan, earnest voice that it’s time…

Right, well, no one is advocating for shooting anyone, or even being Johnny Butt-insky. Again, I think it’s just, “try to be interested in what’s transpiring in the society in which you live.” In many cases, maybe we can’t do anything except potentially be a witness later (for either side, of any conflict!), but that…

“[S]hooting police officers” seems like a pretty dramatic leap from “retweeting.”

Shoulda been the Las Vegas Nights.

I should add that, what is genuinely needed is some alternative, new direction for employment out there, and Clinton was trying to offer it, but it was lost in what Trump was saying about getting old jobs back and Clinton’s general lack of appeal.

Change happens. If you truly believe Pres. Obama was not a reasonable, considerate president that affected a change in this country, it may be because he asked you sacrifice something — some economic benefit, or the ability to make fun of gays, or the ability to view minorities as “less than” or “dangerous” (one was…

Voting for a candidate that espouses those things is an endorsement of them. A person can feel all the entitlement they want to a good job they once had, and believe that Trump is somehow going to move an iPhone factory to Wisconsin so you can keep stamping metals or whatever, but if you place those motives above…

That’s some magic bullet shit for that water bottle score an apparent direct hit on Suarez.

Taking EXTREME exception to the inclusion of Griezmann, who is a bad dancer, in the Messi/Ronaldo/Bale/Neymar list. Eh, Bale too, kinda, but less so, while we’re at it.

I like that she doesn’t throw any old shit away. Sometimes, when fixing something old, everyone gets to the “fuck this old shit!”point and just goes and buys new. She does not. I could watch her clean old door hardware in a slow cooker for hours.

Wasn’t really blaming the ref. He was entitled to give the call and he did, but I don’t think there would have been much of a furor if he didnt. It’s not like Schweinsteiger cleared the ball off the line or stopped a direct shot. It was a flicked header at the top of the eighteen with a vague hope that a French player…

Gomez is a lumbering human knuckle. That he’s the best Germany’s got as an incisive forward speaks to how poor they are in vertical attacking. Still, Germany was the much better team until the ref crapped on them and they lost Boateng. That handball was a discretionary call that the ref was always going to give the…

I don’t understand this article, but that man’s black leather shirt makes him look like like he’s about to play a rogue at Orkon’s 25th anniversary LARPing event.

HA. Well then, keep trying to stop those intricate Brasilian-roll-into-pullback-rainbow-full-volley-over-the-keepers from skying over the crossbar, kid. At least you’ll make them half of the time.

You are a human trombone noise.

Please, in the replies, can we list all possible synonyms for “big hit” so we are no longer surprised by these headlines? I’ll start:

None of these athletes is paid, correct?

I think it’s spelled “leightweight”

You’re superstitious that you’ll get happily married at the end?

[madly types any sentence that replaces “enough” with “Phaneuf”]