Mortal D, you nailed it. But you left out the part about his overcoming Oxicontin addiction through the power of positive thinking. Or how he turning down a Rhodes Scholarship so he could work in Haiti for 2yrs with the Peace Corps. You also missed his PC All-Star Counselor Dream Team:

Jane, I forgot about the lottery. These 3 honor rollers were headed to their extra credit, night AP course in Physics. As they playfully argued the dynamics of cultural entropy, they were so engrossed they couldn’t hear the big rig bearing down on them as they straddled the middle of the road.

I believe you could be a card-carrying (no pun intended) Samuel Jackson/Spike Lee-variety racist. At best, you’re guilty of trotting out the tiresome old chestnut, “We know white folks...therefore...”

Would you be referring to Mr. Tommy Sotomayor? Why’s he such a successful UTuber?

I liked ‘em better when they had fats in ‘em. They tasted more natural—like real strawberries, I guess. Black Twizzlers also tasted better back in the day. Of course, those little candy dots glued to long, white, thin paper strips tasted best of all. Used to wash them down with those tiny wax “bottles” full of…

I use a DOUBLE retractable for my two critters. Got it from Hammacher Schlemmer catalog 2 yrs ago. Now, the ratchet is getting worn and it’s cogs start slipping if the hounds jolt and then pull continuously. No twisting problems or tangles. It’s heavy duty and cords are thick too. Maybe they’ve redesigned it by now.…

Ryan—There must be a back story here, something like:

Massachusetts? Isnt the entire state one big hoa—with high dues? Jeremy, say hello to Princess Phuaucahontis for me. She should know a lot about “native” flora and fauna.

Agree. I couldn’t even tell you where most NFL’ers schooled. But Cowboys games are ingrained in our local Texas culture. The Mavericks, despite Mark Cuban’s BS, are getting there too—when they play well.

Midgord: How’s that free cheese holding out? (You’ve got the $15/hr wage—if you’re working.) If not, I’m paying you about $36k worth of freebies yearly. What else are you entitled to? Once Republicans get their acts together I’m certain they’ll bend over backwards to fulfill all your dreams. Me? Oh I’ll just still be…

Poor reasoning, Jorge. Besides the usual “illegal entry isn’t a crime” failed logic, the child sexual abuse rap and later parole violations sink your upstanding amigo. Trump’s fault? I Don’t think so. It’s all Diaz’s play.

Stop equivocating IRL—tell how you REALLY feel about food service!

Great comments Emma. You really think this episode will change any circumstances for another uppity NFL Jerk-in-the-making? My schadenfreude meter’s just buzzing with anticipation, but old Jerry Jones’ll certainly know who he is...(I’ll make do with T.O.’s latest HOF vote down.)

Actually, Andy, there are several clever “work arounds” to combat the 12-foot root conundrum. Driverless car technology offers the most promising solution. The current old school approach: imagine an intricate series of pullies,cogged wheels and idler arms...

Get a life you waste of sperm!