As long as we’re doing this, can we please have some coverage on the dunk contest? Specifically on the judges’ complete lack of understanding about how to use a 10-point scale and how unfortunate it is to be AG?

5 consecutive 50-point dunks, then clears Tacko, still lost, smh.

Fuck do they know about logic?

Gotta keep one of them in the Senate, though. Otherwise, both those tickets would be prettaaay... pretty good.

The party of law and order.*

I’m hoping this is going to be like a video game boss that starts getting low on life then outta no where gets beserk strength. There’s still more levels and bosses to beat, but at least they’re different and more rewarding.

You might be confused about what a news story is. For whatever reason, when people read the news, they seem to expect the news will mostly tell them about what happened... or isolated cases, as you call them.

Dear Readers from the Future: greetings from the past! No, this isn’t The Onion, this was an actual newsworthy item in 2020. You’re probably thinking, “Don’t they have much larger issues to face than pronouns?” and “Was it really that hard to just call someone what they asked to be called?” The answers are “Yes” and…

Not sure why you’re assuming any sort of permanence. If anything they’ve demonstrated their ability to shed outdated assumptions in the face of new information. Yes, gender is a spectrum, which is a dimension distinct from fluidity. It’s completely reasonable to assume what anyone asked to be called yesterday is what…

We agree that they both had options, but seem to disagree on how those options translate into power. Your first two options are effectively the same as the “ICE opts not to arrest” option in that they avoid a confrontation altogether. However, yours are pretty fanciful, and we know because ICE exists. If…

The title of the article literally has the words “Surprising to Nobody”

The officers had the power to not arrest. The officers had the power to not escalate force. The officers had the power to not pull the trigger. Why is it that you’ve ignored these equally true counterfactuals?

I read the use of force policy, and urge you to do the same. Since you posted a 6-year-old press release and…

No one gets shot if this guy is transferred from jail to ICE custody.

“The investigation has concluded that though the wetness of water and eastness of sun-rising was observed, they appeared to be isolated cases. Also the DoC promised to do some training and hire a black guy, so, you know, problems solved.”

Any minute now evangelicals will be chastising him for politicizing prayer.

Aaaaaaaaaany minute now...

I’ve long thought that the best strategy would just be to compliment and congratulate everyone except him for his “wins.” He’d short circuit.

This has never been about right, precedent, the constitution, etc. It’s only ever been about power. What these craven senators don’t seem to understand is that most of their power derives from faith in the system and norms of “civility.” They’ve been eroding both for a decade. I think about Americans in their mid-20s…

Living Single reboot but all the actors are Root writers. Or maybe you just play yourselves. I’d watch the shit out of that show.

If I have to hang any doll off any other object using rope, I’m putting the loop under the armpits, it just feels bad to hang a doll by its neck. This person went ahead and did it four times.

Maybe the training will head off some actual future harm from some naive 18-year-olds. It will do fuck-all for the person who…

Great question. Vanilla Ice is out because he had some respect from his peers and era-adjusted not bad flow. Markie Mark is out because he never pretended he wasn’t a racist who was in NKOTB. I honestly have no recollection of Snow, so, out.

So of those choices, I’d say Grandmaster B: the semi-borrowed personality…

Please let us know if you spot Drake at his university. I’m guessing he’ll keep a low profile on account of the Canadian thing, but I’d bet an intrepid reporter could get at least one blurry pic.