It's pretty damn compelling.

It was a godsend when I lived in an 8th floor flat and my lift was out. For four weeks. Those poor Tesco guys had to carry everything up allllll those steps. I felt bad, but then I remembered — it could have been me doing that with 60 lbs of groceries.

I was a "mature student" when I started law school in London at the decrepit age of 28. I was warned repeatedly by my careers advisor that as a married woman in peak childbearing years, I had little chance against of getting a plum training contract after I finished, simply because laydeez be breedin'. And yes,…

My inner 12-year-old self just threw herself on the bed and started bawling at the injustice of it all. Is nothing sacred? Nothing?

Whatever did we do before #hashtags.

#floridacat

Sure. Bring gin.

Cumberbuns is a neighbour to my brother and his family. My nephews have pronounced him "cool as shit." I feel a family visit is in order.

Perhaps even a rainbow bridge too far.

I just ended a telephone conversation with my mom not because she said anything terrible, just that I realised that sometimes I find her irritating in ways that are hard to pin down. As a grown-up over the age of 40 I have the right to wrap things up quickly if she's rubbing me the wrong way, but I still feel guilty…

Am I the only one who has to sit around in a fancy men's clothing shop while my dude spends like hoouuurrrrsssss trying on all the clothes and shoes? There's jack all in there for me to try on, and while I enjoy seeing my man come out of the dressing room looking like an Angry Siberian Drug Overlord in some weirdass…

I have fantasized about making this since I was six and I got my hands on my very first Betty Crocker cookbook (I now own four from the 60s, 70s and 80s). Now I know what goes into the actual preparation and I still fucking want to make it.

Zac Posen, you have NO excuse for a poorly fitting suit. None.

Breakfast wine is the finest wine. No need to excuse it.

Ditto! "Here, take this shit, just don't kill yourselves."

We also made facial treats out of crap out of the fridge — oatmeal, avocado, mayonnaise (mmmmmmmm). One time we boiled a bunch of eggs so we could extract the shell membrane to apply to our skin, as we'd read it would tighten our pores up so we could look more youthful than our 12 year old selves. We read about it in…

I used to go to sleepovers back in the early 80s where moms would just sling us a bag of cast-off makeup and nail polish and tell us to go for it. The results were predictably amazing.

It was, it was! Also spotted around the same time, there was this gem at a Best Buy checkout:

Maybe you vomit after only one.

I can't choose my favourite article — is it "I use my body to fix broken men like Christian Grey"? Or "Christian inspired cocktails"? I totally thought the latter was going to be drinks made with Communion wine, btw.