Hey, nothing shouts “fiscally responsible” by giving $250 million to Santa Claus.

This is what is fucking wrong with this country and Covid-19. Santa is not a fucking essential worker!

This is honestly the best opportunity that parents are gonna get to tell their kids the truth about Santa Claus: he died of coronavirus.

That’s what you call “having a Barsanti moment.”

“Hurray!” ~ 1995

That was kinda the subtle point I was trying to make. Hell, I think 1986 was when my dad finally broke down and got our first VCR. I was 10, and my older brother and sister were pissed at me for years because I essentially grew up with not only color TV AND cable, but also a VCR.

I always forget about that one little tidbit. No one knows the future, but whoever decided it was a good business move to let Turner buy up MGM’s pre-1980's film library hopefully lost their job immediately and never worked in Hollywood again.

Holy shit, I’d assumed MGM had been snapped up by a conglomerate long ago, but its just sitting out there, all by its lonesome, gussying itself up for the right suitor.

Asking three quarters of the last movie’s gross is a little on the high side IMO, but it’s not out of the ballpark if you’re looking at this purely from a financial perspective.

The TCM section of HBO Max is the fucking greatest. It’s like a mini-Criterion Channel. Which I had been planning to subscribe to, until HBO Max happened.

That’s it exactly. A scene-by-scene recap, followed by three lines of criticism. That is what I wrote. 

With the way Hollywood’s brightest stars rushed to coddle Chris Pratt last night, you’d think the actor had been accused of sexual harassment by a D-lister or something

if I found a bar that carried manischewitz?  man that’s gotta kill Covid...the heavy MALAGA anyway

I’m pretty sure thats why he played Dr Octopus later , to kill that SPIDERMAN WHO IS A MENACE!!

I'm trying to think of a throwaway jump scare in It Follows. What scene?

Yes, your body’s reaction to being startled in an instant is very different from the lingering dread that can follow you around for hours, days after a movie. So metrics should keep that in mind. Like, stuff from “Hereditary” is gonna sit with me for a lot longer than a demon kid jumping out in “The Grudge” though…

No amount of planning or good governance?

Ugh, season 9 of The Office gave me enough of Ed Helms and boats, thanks. Although ‘grumpy sea captain’ does sound like the kind of role that Harrison Ford could sleepwalk through and seem fun instead of depressingly unengaged.

Was it the photo of the puppy that did it? It was, wasn’t it? There are no puppies in this story but we’ll 

Not limited to spiders but the entire bug scene in Temple of Doom could make the cut too.