Like, scorched earth. They dead now.
Texting everyone I know who didn’t go to an Ivy: “want to go bar hopping with some fake-Ivy people? Lmk”
I’m dog sitting, and I never wanted to be that kind of person who liked animals more than people, but I’ve never met a person who I could give an ice cube to and they would think I’m the greatest fucking thing in the universe.
I need people 24/7. I had a lot of salesmen in my family, and it’s kind of a game. Will everyone like me? Yes. Yes. They. Fucking. Will.
I move seamlessly between selling people in relationships and being a cock blocker, and I give zero fucks.
I have four dates in two weeks. And mostly I want to get back together with one of my exes, and I’d put my chances at 50/50. Sometimes being pretty sucks.
You can now buy an SVR in BRG, but it’s $4900 extra (worth, since that was the only reason I never fake configured SVRs). It’s not Range Rover and their frigging $15,000 BRG paint, but how is BRG a $500 option on most Jags, but $5k on an SVR?
Everything I’ve ever done is predicated on getting on well with people. I come from a family of salesmen, and winning people over was drilled into me from a young age.Sometimes I pick a random person and think “we’re going to be friends now.” And we will. But, shit, I do not like people. On a fundamental level, I like…
Internally: “Stop telling me more, that’s very illegal.”
I saw a 5-Series today with the badge replaced by F10. At first glance I thought it was a fake B badge, but this seemed... kind of okay? I mean, it seems special to someone who doesn’t know BMWs, but enthusiasts would understand it, so I’m inclined to allow it.
I just want to live out my happy dipshit life, being me, a fairly happy dipshit. But yet. BUT YET. People can’t not be fuckers, and I have to use a life time of fuckertude to be a fucker. And it’s like, I don’t really get enjoyment out of being an asshole anymore, but sometimes people misinterpret that as “I can be a…
Don’t make it a things, dicks. I’m just pointing out the the Kinja inherent in the system.
Tell me that’s not the best version of House of the Rising Sun. Really, let’s dance.