Wow. Same shit, different industry. I was at an ophthalmology conference a few years ago and at one pharma event, someone had hired sexy cheerleaders to...socialize? with the surgeons. Funny story! It was a conference specifically targeting women in ophthalmology.

I met HRC once, on my 21st birthday. I was working at a Clinton Foundation fundraiser at the Museum of Natural History in NYC. They hadn’t told us anything about how the Clintons would enter and I just assumed they would come in the back through some super secret door or something.

Now I’m picturing all these women that have eaten nothing but juice for two weeks to fit in their dresses pouring sleeves of Thin Mints right into their mouths.

A friend of mine once shook Bill Clinton’s hand at the White House. This is the story of hearing that story...

Ross Geller of the hip hop world.

I heard a new Weezer song the other day, and it’s about girls. Rivers, you’re 40. Stop.

I personally, especially as I get older, find the St. John chapters of Jane Eyre fascinating, and St. John himself the personification of “unaware that he’s unaware” privilege, a striking contrast to Big Daddy Rochester; his money, his demands, his prickly personality, his horror show of a marriage and how he dealt…

You know I’m torn on this! As a woman and person of color it’s great for ME. I mean how nice will it be to just be handed a high paying writers gig without doing any work at all or having any talent, you know? I could call up a few late night shows and have a job tomorrow, no resume or writing samples required!

Cruz: I tried to befriend the snowplow driver, but he just kept saying “ow” and now he won’t make eye contact. In retrospect, maybe I shouldn’t have told him about how sometimes I weave the hair of my victims - I MEAN SUPPORTERS - into my clothes.

Lol, only because I hate Trump so much do I find this amusing.

I think it will be a lot easier to get the ashes through customs than a body. I’ve got to admit, I’ve got this really silly mental image of a very nice urn being through an airport x-ray machine.

I like calling them Vanilla Isis.

There’s no great story. I was just excited to wear a new suit and couldn’t think of anywhere to go.

My co-worker adopted a three-year-old. Whenever anyone would tell her she was a “saint” for adopting an older kid, she would look them straight in the eye and say, “She came to me potty-trained.”

Um, have you ever seen a more corn-fed American face in your life? So adorable and harmless and Chamber of Commerce-ey. Look at the picture of the guy shown above. This is hilarious! If this guy looks dubious, whom are they letting on board? Just Rolf from the Sound of Music?

The black literary experience, as lauded by the white literary world, must include something harrowing. I resent that.

Literary fiction has largely been monopolized by dusty MFA programs dominated by white men. Aside from the obvious injustices of such a system, it also has another fault worth noting. THEIR SHIT IS BORING. When “serious writing” is no longer protected by the white male university system and successful writers depend…

That’s why you leave the washing instruction tags on your towels. Then you only use the part near that tag around your head and the opposite end is for everything from the waist down (or vice versa). This way you know which end of the towel you’ve used where.