Was Lindsey Lohan seen in the vicinity?

Well.

Really, is there any of us who can say that s/he is not embarrassed by something s/he wrote when s/he was 17?

For his sake, I hope his dad buys some prostitutes for the party, to help his kid get back up to speed satisfying women after being out of the game for three whole months. If I were in his situation, I know that’s what I would want.

Bravo!

Sex: Paradise by the Dashboard Lights. No shit.

But...but...but...he took his kids to Hersheypark the day before he killed them! So, he couldn’t have been all bad. Now, if he had gone to Great Adventure, that would have been a different story.

I’ve got cancer. Earlier this year, when my doctors told me I might not make it to Christmas, I told my then ex-wife (we got remarried a couple of weeks ago) and my family that I wanted my ashes spread in the surf at dawn at Rehoboth Beach, which isn’t far, and where I had some nice times. I know it’s probably not…

This is a great story. A legislator in my state introduced an assisted-suicide bill a couple of years ago, but it languished in committee and never got a vote. That bothered me.

Eleven years, meh. My wife fenced in college in the 1970's, and was the first captain of the women’s team when it went varsity in 1974 or ‘75. Decades later, she actually had an argument with the alumni magazine over the date the team went varsity, which they disputed despite her producing the cover of their own…

I’m Team Diesel on this one, because, as always and forever until the end of time, Freedom Sucks.

You did not note in this story that S/HE ALSO SHOT THE DOG!

That statement is pretty weak sauce. It’s just neutered corporate-speak.

I may always have a sweet spot in my heart for Rosie, since she played my IRL sister in a movie.

It’s smiling at the thought of a Trump presidency and the prospect of the renewal of virgin sacrifices.

Looking at this list, all I can think of is, “Fuck, I’m old.”

Hey!

I guess I really HAVE failed my kids. Other than giving them some leftover prescription meds in my closet, oh, and their stealing my weed when they were in high school, I haven’t supplied any drugs to people my kids know, whether in elementary school, high school, or college.

Meh. I’m still upset with Joey for picking him. A relationship sure to flame out before they hit 30.

Would it be out of line here for me to make a complaint about Ms. Mathers’ body?