Since the LDS church apparently advertises in the program (is that called a libretto?), perhaps they have licensed the name to the show. Stranger things have happened.

So, did you get slimed?

Um, I attended the execution of a client, cowering in the back of the observation room while a bunch of ghouls crowded up to the window to watch the deed be done by the reluctant warden.

A few years ago, I had a temporarily homeless friend of my son living on my foldout sofa until I convinced her that she wasn't pregnant (still have one of the unused tests I bought, which were cheaper than the abortion I offered to fund) and had to move elsewhere. She was, I think, 36 at the time. No one I know had…

There was an outlet about a mile from here open from about 2000-2007, and it was an awesome place to shop for my wife (and for like-middle-aged colleagues to shop).

Sleepover camp, Poconos, 1970 and '71.

There was an Irish bar in my college town that had a regular Irish sing-along band, and they played this song. It was actually the first I'd ever heard it. Pitchers of beer at long tables wooden tables with bench seats. Good times.

And in return, you send him your nude Skype-sex videos.

TL; dr: "Damn Feminazis!"

Holy shit! Speed Racer a Go Go!

At least he didn't ask her to bring her sister mum along. As a 51-year-old, that would have been my response if I ever found out that the woman I was mashing was so young.

Every year for DECADES, I have called my mentally disabled sister and told her the exact same joke on April 1, with exactly the same response from her. HiC: "Your hair is on fire!" Sister: "No, it isn't, haha April Fools." Some years, I had my children do it, but they are off at college now. It's a tradition.

Signed. Signature 6,079.

This couldn't be her in the '80's. I think I met her in, like, 1988, when she was 3 or something and I was working with her mom, who was still in law school. And that ring Would Not Have Been Approved at St. Ann's. My kids know from experience.

Shoot. When I take Ambien, I do laundry. Like six loads of it. Sorted beforehand, washed, dried, folded, sorted, and brought upstairs. And then I wake up in the morning thinking that I have all this laundry to do, except it's all already done.

Isn't this the Orgasmatron? It's been done, 40 years ago and a few hundred in the future.

What if all he says when he orgasms is "Surrender, Dorothy?"

She just WISHES her school colors were blue and white.

I wanted to see him on House of Cards, being involved with Claire. Still do.

Mention that when you go out and you have your period, you wear special red period panties over your regular panties, and would he like to see them?