Jesse Watters is what you get when you haven’t been famous enough to get sued for sexual harassment yet.

What a novel concept!

“Lock her up! Lock her up!”

It’s not about the flag. It’s about black people speaking up. It doesn’t matter what form the protests take, white people will get offended.

I’m really hating the new season of Celebrity Big Brother. I don’t know who thought it would be a good idea to bring in Donald Trump, but they should be sacked.

At that same factory there was forklift driver who looked just like Drake, except he was white. I started calling him White Drake. Eventually severalteen people began calling him White Drake. When he found out who came up with the name, he never spoke to me again.

To this day some of my friends still call me “Redman.” It’s a badass-sounding nickname, so I like that, but the appeal fades when I admit that they gave me that name because some 20+ years ago we were on spring break and I got the worst sunburn they’d ever seen.

I used to weld in a huge factory. The building I worked in was the last one in the whole facility that didn’t have air conditioning. I used to bring a six pack of La Croix and water it down with a shit ton of ice from the ice machine in the next building. Yeah, the air conditioned building also had the ice machine.…

That’s pretty much me; watch it when it airs, maybe watch it again in a few months and that’s it.

Sir, this is a Wendy’s drive-thru.

No, you’re fired.

Cuba:

Everytime A.V. Club changed the smallest thing, everyone was all Chicken Little, with predictions of doom and destruction. But damned if they weren’t right - Kinja has made one of my favorite sites into a ghost town, and while I still check in a couple times a day, I’ve noticed I spend less and less time here.

Yeah, that confused me too.

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, you can’t call it a duck because calling something a duck is worse than walking around with a yellow beak and quacking all the fucking time.

It’s like if the rules for the board game Clue stated that the game ended when all of the facts (criminal, location, and weapon) were revealed, but you weren’t allowed to state them together in a declarative sentence. In fact, if you did, you’d be automatically disqualified and then publicly raked over the coals by a…

Eric Trump could not be reached for comment, as he had forgotten to close his mouth while in the shower, and accidentally drowned.

Very agreed. I lived in Minnesota for a few years, and while the death of Prince still grieves everyone the most, Hüsker Dü was probably the next hometown hero, because they didn’t leave them in the dust once they got famous. Hold Steady immediately moved to Brooklyn. The Replacements mostly either killed themselves…

This guy was a musical hero to an entire generation. When me and some friends discovered Husker Du back in the late 1980s, we were devastated to learn they had just broken up! But I did get to see Mould a few times live and Nova Mob at a very small club.

Ambiguity is as American as Racism is as American as Baseball