Ok, when i read this story i was all “JFC I can’t believe everyone is identifying themselves and using their names”

YOUR KIDS’ LIVES AREN’T AS IMPORTANT AS MY RIGHT TO RISK THEM BECAUSE I’M REALLY FUCKING CONFUSED AND AFRAID OF AUTISM U GAIZ

Honestly, can we just shut down facebook for the greater good of the world?

I heard a rumor he was Def.

Jesus Christ who said anything about partners, for fucks sake? Can’t a woman just ride the dick for a minute and go?

Sorry, im sure you think you know men but theres nothing “boring” about fucking a string of early twenties underwear models. Not even remotely.

I also work out all the time. I also love alcohol and sugar.

I love when people reveal their diets. I hate the whole dog and pony show of “I just have a super high metabolism!” or when SJP said she barely ever worked out, like, I have seen your arms. I know you are doing something.

So, room on the door or nah?

I had a dream last night I was on the Titanic with Jack and Rose. I don’t know I just thought it was weird and thought I’d share.

There once was a girl from Nantucket
with talent as deep as a bucket.
She tried to “sound black”
and wrote songs like a hack
so they gave her a Grammy when they should have said “Fuck it.”

>Williams says he plans to begin designing a line of jeans soon designed to fit diaper-wearers.

Margaret Atwood.

My dad dropped my younger brother off on the side of a country road once. He turned around at the next crossroad to come back for him, which took a total of under 5 minutes.

Bobby, don’t you dare apologize for the “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” joke, that was A-grade.

She posted that LG “skinnifier” angle pic that all thick girls are putting on Instagram to shut up the folks mocking her curves two weeks ago.

This makes absolute sense and my heart aches for this man. Having said that, that's a fucking amazing picture.